How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb
by Ysellyra Tunnelly
Summary: The night is full of holes as bullets rip the sky of ink with gold, they twinkle as the boys play rock and roll- they know that they can’t dance... At least they know…’
1. Vertigo

HOW TO DISMANTLE AN ATOMIC BOMB 

**Disclaimer: **Neither Harry Potter nor U2 are mine (bugger, eh?). I only own the books and the CD's, and can quote almost anything from the books and know all the lyrics to several of the CD's. I need help. Urgently.

OH, and I own a laptop. My preciousssss… M8 shall never takessss you again, preciousss! Fat little M8 staff, they are. What's wireless, precious? What's wireless, aiy…?

**Summary:** Now, I'm not really sure where this one is going. It's a bit hazy. BUT it is HG/SS, possibly DM/HP, but Hermy and Snape will be the focus. That's why it's in the Hermy/Snape section. Like, duh. I _really _need help.

**Rating: **Hmm, I think this is an R, for language, nothing sexually explicit in this. I just can't right that sort of thing. Especially not with my friends reading coughGHASPyouallsuckcough

**A/N:** Well, I don't think much more can be said for this.

It's going to have 11 chapters, one for each song on the U2 album "How to Dismantle An Atomic Bomb" and maybe, just maybe, an epilogue of sorts. But I'm never any good at those, so it's probably best if I don't.

Anything else? Nope, I don't think so… Oh, and don't take the lyrics at the start of each chapter too literally, they are _lyrics_. Metaphorical bloody things, they are.

So, now that that's all cleaned up…

ONWARD HO!

* * *

'Lights go down, It's dark

_The jungle is your head_

_Can't rule your heart_

_A feeling is so much stronger than_

_A thought_

Your eyes are wide

_And though your soul_

_It can't be bought_

Your mind can wander…'

* * *

"Severus?"

Severus Snape's head snapped up at being called by his first name.

"I ask you to address me accordingly, Miss Granger." He said through gritted teeth. Ever since first year this girl had been on his nerves, and now that she was his colleague- it only worsened.

"We work together. Every other teacher has asked me to call them by their first name, even Minerva." She looked rather smug at this. "So, I assume I can call you Severus."

"You 'assumed' wrong. You will call me by my proper title." He snarled.

"What, Severus Dimitri Snape, Order of Merlin 3rd class?" she grinned. "Oh I can see that. "More porridge, Severus Dimitri Snape, Order of Merlin 3rd class?" or maybe "Severus Dimitri Snape, Order of Merlin 3rd class, could you pass me a tissue?""

"First of all, you are being dim. Of course I do not want you to refer to me in such a way at all times. Professor Snape will suffice." He said. "Second of all, I do not like porridge. And third; in what instance would I need to hand you a tissue?"

"You tell me." She smirked.

He shook his head. "And I thought Potter and Weasley were bad…" he sighed, and immediately regretted it. Hermione's face fell and she looked down at the floor. Weasley had died the year before in one of Potter's duels with the Pretentious Git who calls himself 'Lord' Voldemort. Took an Avada Kedavra in the chest when he jumped in front of Potter.

"I am sorry." Snape said awkwardly. "I didn't wish to… remind you."

She looked up and gave him a weak smile. "No, it's alright." She sighed. Suddenly she took on a much more confident manner. "Anyway, I was wondering if you could brew me a potion."

"What for?" he asked suspiciously.

"A healing potion. Normally I would do a charm myself or go to Poppy, but it was a Lobalug, and their poison can only be treated by potion." She explained.

"Why, may I ask, were you handling a Lobalug. If my memory serves me, I seem to remember they are found at the bottom of the North Sea." He frowned.

"I was studying it with the fifth years in class. Any other questions?" she asked, smiling.

"Yes. Where is the rash the poison caused?" he asked.

She blushed a little. "Down my top." She said quietly.

He raised an eyebrow. "And how, pray tell, did it get there?" he suppressed the urge to snicker.

"The poison went through my shirt." She explained, still blushing. "I only just managed to get back to my office before it completely disintegrated." She said.

He forced his face to remain impassive. "Very well. I shall bring the potion to you in approximately two hours."

She nodded and said her thanks before leaving his office. He sighed and stood up, fetching a small cauldron and the appropriate ingredients.

- "Hello, hello… I'm at a place called Vertigo" -

Hermione sighed as she lowered herself into a steaming bath, the smell of lavender thick in the air. The red rash on her chest tingled as the water hit it, but after a moment it numbed.

The warm water soothed her aching body; she"d been doing practical exams with her students all day, as it was the last week of term before the students left for home.

A few minutes later she was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Go away." She moaned, but started to climb out of the bath anyway. She pulled a towel around herself and opened the door to see Harry standing there.

"Do you treat all your guests like that, or do I get special treatment?" he teased.

"_Harry_!" she squealed, swinging wide the door and launching herself at him.

"Whoa, there, girl!" he laughed, stumbling inside the door. "How are you?" he asked.

"Fine, same old, same old, really. Nothing ever happens around here; I don't know whether that"s a good or bad thing!" she laughed, heading off to the kitchen to get some tea.

"Well, considering what we used to get up to when there was something going on, I'd say for a teacher, that's a good thing!" he said, following her and hoisting himself up onto the small wooden table in her kitchen.

"True," she smiled. "But it would be nice to have a little excitement now and then…" she sighed, pouring the kettle that she had magically heated into two cups with teabags in them.

"What you need, Hermione Granger, is a boyfriend." Said Harry, accepting his cup with a nod of thanks. "Which is why I'm taking you out tonight. Neville, Ginny, Lav, Parvati, Seamus, Dean and I are going on the pull. And we decided you needed to come." He grinned.

"Harry, I can't, I"ve got _heaps_ of work to do, and-"

"Herms, you're twenty-two and haven't been out of this castle in three weeks. Plus, we've got an extra guy so we need another girl. You're coming out with us." He said firmly.

Hermione sighed. "Okay Harry. You win. But you'll have to wait. Snape's coming over."

"Snape, eh? Looks like _someone_ doesn't need to come on the pull… Well, don't let me interrupt you and "Sevvy"." He laughed.

"Oh, bugger off. He"s bringing over some potion. I got squirted by a Lobalug in class today, and he made the antidote." She said, hitting him on the shoulder.

"Ouch. Where"d it hit you?" he asked.

She lowered the towel enough for him to see the red rash that covered her chest and stomach. He burst out laughing.

"What? It's not that funny…" she frowned.

"No, no, it's just that- You _do_ know how the potion has to be taken, right?" he laughed.

"How?" she asked, worried.

"Weeell… Maybe I should just leave that up to Sevvy to explain," he laughed harder still. "Anyway, I may be going now, pick you up at seven? Great. Thanks for the coffee!" he all but ran to the door.

With a quick _"accio!"_ her "Defence Against Dark Creatures" was in her hand and open on the page she wanted.

"The lobalug antidote potion must be administered directly to the affected area with a cotton bud or the like. Rub the bud along the skin until the reddening disappears. This may take several minutes." She read aloud, before dropping the book and opening the front door.

"YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW HARRY POTTER!" she yelled at Harry's retreating back, now running full pelt down the hall. Had she been dressed in something a little more modest, she would have given chase, but she just sighed and settled for going back inside muttering obscenities and death threats.

As soon as the door was closed behind her there was another knock.

"That"s right, Harry, come crawling back to-" she stopped as she saw Snape there, disdain evident on his face.

"Sorry to disappoint, Miss Granger." He snarled.

"Sorry, I thought you were Harry," she blushed as she opened the door to let him inside.

"Obviously." He said.

She spied the potion in his left hand. "Thank you for making the potion." She said.

He just nodded in reply. "I take it you know how to apply it?" he asked, somewhat uncomfortably.

"Yes. But, I err… I need someone to do so." She blushed deeper.

"It's called a mirror, Miss Granger." He snarled.

"I"ve thought of that. But you see, my mirror is broken." She said.

"Whatever for?" he asked.

"It was perverted." She said simply. "It'd make crude comments when I got changed. I bent over one time and he said something and I decided I'd had enough. I threw my hairbrush at it." She smirked at the memory of hearing its yell when it shattered.

"I see. So go ask Minerva. Potter. Dumbledore. Whoever." He said.

"Minerva"s got night patrol; Harry"s gone til seven, and Dumbledore? Okay, I don't even want to think about that…" she shuddered. She looked up at him. "Please?"

"Miss Granger. You can't possibly want me to." He reasoned.

"I don't, not particularly. But you're the only one who can." She said. "Please, Severus?" she pleaded. "Pleeeease?"

"Bloody hell… I'm not going to win, am I?" he asked, running a hand through his hair.

"Nope." She grinned.

"Fine." He gave in. "_But_ you owe me. Big time."

"Great." She agreed. Suddenly she realised just what she"d gotten herself into. "Okay, well, erm. I"ll go change into something more comfortable. I mean, not that- I mean, like, a dressing gown or something. Not that sort of comfortable. Not that I wouldn"t. I mean, not that I do… Or anything… I"ll just-" she motioned towards her bedroom and all but ran in, mortified.

She closed the door, leant against it and sighed. "Nice one, Granger." She shed her towel and pulled on a white silk robe that reached her knees. "Breathe… Breathe… Okay, Hermione, get. A. Grip. It's Snape, administering a potion. Nothing more, nothing at _all_ more." She took a deep breath and opened the door.

Snape was sitting at the table, the bottle of potion and cotton buds on the table.

"Erm… Where?" she asked him.

He shrugged. "Where does the rash go down to?"

"My stomach." She said.

"Then you should probably lie down." He answered.

"The couch." She said, moving towards the maroon coloured couch covered in suede like fabric, warm and soft to touch.

She lay down and Snape sat down on the edge, dabbing one of the buds into the liquid.

She took a deep breath and pulled the robe down from her lower body. Snape stared at her stomach, not daring to move his eyes from it. He started working on her rash and they were silent until her reached her chest, which was covered in a plain white bra.

"You may need to remove your underwear." He said, looking straight from her stomach to her face.

She nodded and reached behind her to undo the clasp. She slid it off and Snape had to talk to keep from focusing on what he was doing.

"So, erm… Why"s Potter picking you up tonight?" he asked.

She gave a snort of laughter. "And you care, why?" she asked.

He glared at her, before resuming his work.

"We"re going out, probably clubbing. He thinks I need a boyfriend," she snorted with laughter again. "Though I highly doubt that. I spend most of my time in the castle, I hardly have any spare time. So, if anything, I'd need someone to stay with me at Hogwarts."

"Well, the seventh years are looking very disappointing this year, I'm sure." He smirked.

"Yeah, well, I'm not that into students." She grinned.

"Anyway… anyone special in _your_ life?" she teased.

He glared at her. "If there was, do you really think I'd be sitting here administering potion to a colleague on a Friday night?"

She laughed. "I guess not. Though, if you were one of those guys who goes to the pub to boast to his mates, you _could_ say you got a twenty two year old topless and on her back before seven." She laughed, then realised what she"s said and blushed.

"Yes, well, luckily I'm not. For your sakes and mine." He smirked.

"Ah, well, nothing like a good teacher/teacher relationship to end the year." She laughed.

"Yes, well, the idea that Snape, greasy bastard of the dungeons has a girlfriend may just shock the students into muteness. One can only hope." He said. "You're done." He put the used cotton buds on the table and the cap on the bottle.

"If those students were quiet, even for a day… It'd almost be worth shagging you." She pulled her robe back around her, but not before he saw a flash of skin above her thigh, creamy skin with a small mole.

She turned her head to the side to find her bra, and he saw a splash of red on her neck.

"Wait a minute," she he grabbed her chin, holding her head to the side.

She tensed up.

"Let go." She said quietly.

"Just a second." He kept one hand on her neck gently, the other reaching for the bottle of potion.

"Let go! _Now! _Let _go!_" she screamed, pushing him away.

He recoiled from her in shock.

She breathed heavily a moment. "Sorry," she said, calming down. "I don't like people touching my neck. It freaks me out." She managed a small smile.

"I didn't think anything freaked Hermione Granger out." He said.

"It always has. It just, startles me, you know? All my nerves tense up, it's hard to explain. But is there more?" she asked.

"Yes, just there." He pointed to the red on her neck.

She took a deep breath and smiled at him. "Okay."

He lifted her head slightly to the side and started work on the rash. He felt her tense up, the hairs on the back of her neck raise. He was careful to touch it as least as possible; not only for her sake, but also for his- She had narrowly missed hitting his face when she had pushed him away before.

"Done." He said after five minutes or so.

She breathed deeply and massaged her neck for a moment, before standing up.

"Well, thankyou." She said, smiling at him.

"Just doing my job." He answered.

"Thanks anyway." Then she did something neither of them was expecting: She hugged him. Just a quick one, but a hug all the same. Snape stiffened, and she let go, blushing.

A cough came from the door and there stood Harry and all the others, each with rather odd expressions on their faces. Harry looked like he was trying not to burst out laughing and looking smug at the same time, which ended up with him looking a little constipated, to tell you the truth. Dean was halfway between shock and anger, and the others were all somewhere in between.

Both Snape and Hermione jumped apart, Snape grabbing the bottle as he did so.

He nodded at Hermione once before brushing past the others and out the door.

She just stood there glaring at them.

"You are all so dead." She hissed at them.

"Funny, she doesn't seem to have the same aura of power when she"s half naked and has just been caught making out with Snape." Smirked Lavender.

Hermione pulled the robe tighter around her, and answered Lavender scathingly.

"We were not _making out_. I was thanking him. Just a friendly hug, that"s all." She steamed.

"And since when do you give Snape _friendly hugs?_" exploded Dean.

"Since he"s my colleague, a very respectable man and a _friend_." She threw back at him. "Now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to get dressed." She huffed and stalked into her rooms.

""Cause we all know who helped you get _un_dressed." Whispered Seamus, and they all burst out laughing, say for Dean who just glared at them all.

- "It's everything I wish I didn't know" -

"Okay, guys, here"s the deal. We all roll a number on these," he produced two small green dice from his pocket. "And they are magically charmed so none of us get the same number as the other. Then whoever"s one, has to try- emphasis on that word, _try_- to pull the first person of the appropriate gender to walk through the door. The person who rolls a two gets the next person, and so on. Everyone got it?" he asked. They all nodded.

"Okay, I"ll go first." He rolled the dice and came up with a five, then passed it on to Neville who was sitting next to him. He rolled a two, then passed it on. Seamus got twelve, Dean- seven, Ginny- three, Parvati- eleven, Lavender- eight and finally it came to Hermione.

"Please don't be one… Please don't be one…" she whispered to herself.

They all looked at her expectantly and she rolled.

"_Bullocks"_" she said angrily, pushing the dice back to Harry.

"Okay, so up first is Herms. Everyone, stare at that door." Instructed Seamus.

They all sat there, sipping their drinks and staring intently at the door, everyone wearing grins except for Hermione and Dean, Hermione staring at it anxiously, and Dean doing the same to her.

It was several minutes before someone came in, and she was almost getting hopeful that maybe that was it for the night. But of course, it wasn"t.

There was the sound of the magical bell above the door signalling someone was approaching the door, and a moment later it opened.

Everyone exploded into laughter as they saw who it was. Snape. Of course, who else could make her friends tease her more? She should have expected it. Yup. This wasn"t her day.

"_Shit!_" she cursed, turning around and banging her head on the bar.

"C"mon, Herm"s, you have to." Smirked Harry.

"But it's- I can't- _fuck!_" she said, sitting up straight and taking a deep breath. "I won't." she said finally.

"You have to." Retorted Ginny gleefully.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"_No!_"

"You're just afraid you can't pull." Said Ginny.

"Afraid? No. The fact that I don't want to, yes." Hermione answered.

"No, you don't think you could do it. Tell you what: I"ll bet you ten galleons you can't pull him." She said.

"I can bloody well pull!" she hissed at her.

"Prove it." Smirked Ginny, knowing this would work. Hermione Granger could never back down from a challenge.

"Fine. You're on." She said angrily, shaking hands with her across the table. She downed her drink quickly, took a deep breath and turned around. She checked her hair, pulled down her top a little and set of across the bar towards where Snape was now sitting, ordering a drink.

"Hi," she said, sitting on a stool next to him.

He glanced around at her.

"No." he said quietly.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"I heard your conversation. And I am not going to be "pulled" by you." He said, taking his drink from the barmaid with a nod.

"Bugger. Okay. Well, if I go back straight away, they will think I didn't try. So, I have to stay and talk." She sighed.

"If you must." He said, and took a sip of his fire whisky, letting the liquid roll around his mouth before burning down his throat.

"Wanna sit down?" she asked, indicating the small leather booths around the pub. She would be glad to be out of direct sight from her friends.

He nodded, bought himself and her drinks and they headed off to one of the booths.

- "Except you give me something I can feel, feel" -

"Good work, Gin." Grinned Harry.

"I"ve perfected the art of Hermione baiting." She smirked. "Okay, who"s next?"

"Me." Said Neville quietly. On cue, the door opened and in came a witch about their age with pale skin and black hair. She wore heavy eye make-up and black clothes with Doc Martins on her feet.

They pushed him off his chair and towards the bar where she was standing and started on the next one: Ginny.

"Male or female, Gin?" asked Seamus.

"Either. Whoever"s best looking." She grinned.

"Okay…" they waited for the door to open.

First it was a group of guys, all over 50. "Ew, no." Ginny crinkled up her nose. The next one was more successful. A brunette girl walked in wearing a halter neck top and tight jeans. "That"s my cue!" she said, jumping up.

"My turn. We"re going guy here, people." He said, turning to the door expectantly. The first two people to walk in were girls, the third a couple.

"Okay, Harry you're taking too long. You get the next guy who comes in. No questions asked." Complained Parvati.

They waited a few more minutes before the door opened again and in walked-

"Draco Malfoy? You"ve gotta be shitting me…" sighed Harry.

"Well, it's not as bad as it seems. He"s gay, and hot." Reasoned Seamus. "Now, come on. Some us are hoping to get laid tonight."

Harry hopped off his stool and headed off to where Draco was leaning against the bar. One by one each of the others went off to the appropriate "pull".

- "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" -

"So, Dumbledore decided you were better at potions than Defence Against the Dark Arts? Classic…" smirked Hermione.

"Apparently, and I quote, "it was what the fates wished me to do"." Snape sneered.

"What a load of complete and utter tripe!" laughed Hermione.

"My sentiments exactly." He agreed. "By the way, I hope I didn't cause too much… conversation when I left earlier." He smirked.

"Not at all. They mocked, I shouted, they cowered. It was great, really." She grinned.

"And then as soon as you were out of the room, they burst out laughing." He said.

"Probably." Sighed Hermione. "As Lavender said, "Funny, she doesn't seem to have the same aura of power when she"s half naked and has just been caught making out with Snape". Not that we _were_ making out or anything." She laughed.

"No, thank god. No offense, but I generally try not to "make-out" with colleagues. But then, all my other colleagues have either been old school enemies, three times my age, clueless bastards, Ministry lackeys or end up having Voldemort sticking out the back of their head." He gave a snort of mirthless laughter.

"And let"s not forget Moody." Grinned Hermione.

He shook his head. "Oh, please, let"s." they both grinned. "I"ve had enough of that old coot. So, feel proud; you're the best looking member of our staff. Not that there"s much to compare to."

"Flattery will get you no where, Severus." She chided, smiling. "However, another drink will." She lifted her glass.

"But I got the last round!" he said.

"I did." She said.

"I assure you, I did."

"Look, just get the drinks, will you?" she asked.

"No!" he said, laughing.

She glared at him. "If you don't get them, I"ll do something evil. Very evil."

"Like what?" he scoffed.

"Kiss you." He looked stricken for a minute, then burst out laughing. "You wouldn"t."

"I would." She cocked an eyebrow.

"With all you friends looking on? I don't think so!" he smirked.

"Wanna bet?" she challenged.

"What"s in it for me? I bet you won't do it, and you will. That leaves me losing money and being pashed by you in front of Potter and Co." he said.

"Well, if you're not sure…" she baited. He looked at her closely.

"Okay, you're on. I know you wouldn"t do that in front of your friends, they"d bag you too much." He said confidently.

She reached over the table and grabbed his face, kisses him straight on the mouth. Immediately whistles and cheering went up from the direction of the bar. She broke the kiss, still holding his face and looked over; there were the others, Harry, Neville, Dean, all of them sitting at the bar looking at her and grinning. She blushed and let go of Snape, sitting back in her seat.

"_Shit…_" she said, and looked over at Snape, who was trying not to laugh. "You knew they were there, didn't you?" she asked.

He just nodded and downed the last of his fourth fire whisky that night.

She glared at her friends and decided to get back at them. Somehow. She looked back at Snape, who was now looking at her shaking his head, a small smile on his face.

She leant forwards and said to him quietly. "Will you help me with something?"

"What?" he looked at her suspiciously.

"Will you? I'll by drinks." She grinned.

He looked at her threw narrow eyes for a moment. "Okay." He said finally.

"Great!" and she leant forward and kissed him again, this time running her hands through his hair. He sat still shocked for a minute. "Work with me." She said, moving around the table to sit on his lap. She continued kissing him, just on the lips, before pulling him to his feet and getting her bag.

"That drink will have to wait." She said, smiling slightly. She led him to the door and he broke out of his reverie and spun her around.

"Where are we going?" he asked her.

"Back to Hogwarts. Don't worry. It's just getting back at the others." She said quietly. "Now, come on."

She pulled him to the door but he spun her around again.

"_What?_" he asked incredulously.

"Look, you agreed to help me. Anyway, they'll have new respect for you." She said, tugging him towards the door. He let himself be pulled there, but at the last minute he decided to have some fun. He turned her around once again and pulled her tight and said, loud enough for the others to hear, "Your rooms or mine?"

She just grinned. "Who has the bigger bed?"

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "My, my, Miss Granger. Whatever _are_ you thinking?"

She pulled him out the rest of the way and they both burst out laughing when the door was shut behind them.

"Ta," she said.

"My pleasure…" he said.

"My, my, Professor. Whatever _are_ you thinking?" she laughed. "Here, keep this here. They'll be watching, I know they will. My friends don't trust me enough." She pulled one of his hands around her waist and let it on her hip, placing her own on top.

They walked up to Hogwarts, parting ways in the Great Hall.

"Thanks. For the potion, and tonight." She laughed.

"Well, I enjoyed shocking Potter a little. And you never know. _He_ could be shocked into muteness. One must only hope." He said.

She just shook her head. "You never change, do you?" she asked.

He took a minute to ponder this. "No."

She laughed. "Okay, then. Goodnight." She said.

"Night." He replied, and she gave him a quick peck on the cheek before hurrying up the stairs to her rooms on the sixth floor.

* * *

'_The night is full of holes_

_As bullets rip the sky_

_Of ink with gold_

_They twinkle as the_

_Boys play rock and roll_

_They know that they can't dance_

_At least they know…'

* * *

_

Chapter one finished. Didja like it? I'm quite happy with it, and it's ten pages long, so that's gotta be a good thing. Riiight?

Anyway, I know Sevvy and Hermy were a little out of character at the pub, but you must remember, they had both had several drinks. And here's the proof:

"downed the last of his fourth fire whisky". And if they shouted each other, like they had talked about, she would also be on her fourth. So ha, it's all worked out. But never fear, more of our snazzy snarky sexy shag-a-delic Severus Snape next chapter. YAY!

Oh, and the whole neck thing? That's inspired by me. I can't stand people toughing my neck. I gave my friend a black eye once, when she came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder and I pushed my elbow backwards by instinct and it hit her. I felt so bad…

Toodles, oh quokkalicious reviewers.

A/N: buy the U2 CD. On second thought, buy _all_ of U2's CD's. They are all uber quokkalicious.

You can't go wrong.

Seriously, you can't.

Really.


	2. Miracle Drug

**HOW TO DISMANTLE AN ATOMIC BOMB**

**Disclaimer: **Oh woe is me, my life is a misery! I do not own Harry Potter, U2 or the movie that I stole that line from.

**Summary:** Well, if you've come this far and haven't read the summary yet, go away. Now.

**Rating:** Seriously, can't you people _read_?

**A/N:** OMG! I just saw an old guy go past our house on a motorised scooter! How bloody cool is that? Quokkalicious, I must say.

And I used a lot of 'Sliding Doors'-nessness in this. Well, in the whole story, actually…

WARNING: This chapter contains a plotting Dumbledore. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

* * *

'_Beneath the noise_

_Below the din_

_I hear a voice_

_It's whispering_

_In science and in medicine_

"_I was a stranger_

_You took me in"'

* * *

_

"Did you get the poison off, Miss Granger?" asked Duncan Sheed, the Hufflepuff boy who had accidentally gotten the poison on her in the first place.

"Yes, Mr Sheed. Professor Snape brewed the appropriate potion and we were manage to remove the rash." She said, smiling.

"Professor _Snape_? I know he"s a teacher and all, Miss, but… I wouldn't take anything he gave you." Said Sarah Leeson, one of Duncan"s friends in Gryffindor.

Hermione smiled. She remembered when she, Harry and Ron had this attitude towards Snape. "I have every trust in Professor Snape. He is a very accomplished potions master, and I'm sure he wouldn't myself or anyone else." She said sternly.

"Is that so, Professor?" the silken words came from the doorway. She looked up and saw Snape standing there, a piece or parchment in his hand.

"Good afternoon, Professor. What can I do for you?" she asked sweetly.

"Dumbledore wishes to see us both in his office after classes. He sent me this." He walked over and handed her the piece of parchment.

_Severus,_

_I need to meet with yourself and Miss Granger to talk about a potion I need_

_and I would appreciate you both meeting me in my office after classes today._

_Please inform her of this as have not sent her a letter._

_Albus_

She looked up from the letter and nodded. "Okay. Meet me here when you finish?" she asked.

He nodded curtly and turned to leave.

"Professor!" she called, and he stopped by the door.

She hurried over and said quietly "Do you know what potion it is?"

"No idea. The headmaster has not informed me." He said.

"Okay. Thanks." She said, and went back to her class.

- 'The songs are in your eyes… I see them when you smile' -

"So, what's the potion for?" asked Hermione. They were in Dumbledore's office, herself and Snape facing Dumbledore across his desk.

"It is a variation on the truth serum. But, as you both know, veritaserum only makes you tell what you know. If your memory is modified, then that covers it. With this potion, by theory and historical papers, we should be able to uncover lost memories via the serum. It's a bit confusing, I realise, but do you get the general idea?" Dumbledore asked.

She nodded.

"Where are these historical papers, Albus?" asked Snape.

"In several old dark magic books. They are in my personal study, and they will be open to both of you at any time. But I must ask that you do not talk about this with anyone but Order members. This could be the key to more intelligence within the dark side, and if it gets out, it could be disastrous."

They both nodded their agreement. "What are plans on when we are to work together?" asked Hermione.

"Well, I thought I'd leave that mostly to you. But I must ask that you work often on this- time is of the essence. The sooner the potion is produced, the better." Dumbledore said.

"Okay… Well, we both have our timetables the same, don't we, Severus?" she asked.

Snape flinched as she used his first name again and Dumbledore smiled.

"Yes. Our free periods and class periods are the same." He answered.

"Okay. Shall we use our free periods to work on it? And evenings after dinner?" she said.

He nodded his consent.

"Very good. Now, I don't wish to take any more of your time, as I know you, Miss Granger have a dance lesson." Dumbledore smiled.

"Yes. If that's all, I'll go and get changed. I'll be back in time for my hall patrol tonight." She said, getting up from her chair.

Dumbledore nodded and she opened the door.

Snape too stood up, nodded towards Dumbledore and left.

Dumbledore was left alone his office, smiling cheerily. He popped a sherbet lemon in his mouth and smiled wider, remembering how this project worked out.

- 'I've had enough I'm not giving up' -

"Dance lesson?" Hermione heard a voice behind her ask. She turned around and saw Severus standing there, smirking.

"Yes, dance lessons. I don't get out much, so I do it to keep in shape. And to relax." She said.

"Relax?" he asked, walking up to where she had stopped. "I hardly imagine throwing yourself around a dance floor is relaxing."

"It is." She insisted, and they continued their path. "You can just focus on dancing, and not think about what's happening in your life. You can throw yourself into the dance, and not think about anything else. It's really calming." She explained.

"I see. And what type of dancing do you do?" he asked.

"Different types. I started ballroom dancing, my mum put me through lessons before I came to Hogwarts. I do the tango, the rumba and I've just started Hip-hop lessons. I thought they'd be interesting." She laughed at his face. "That's what I've got now."

They started down the stairs, and she stopped at the sixth floor. "Want to come in? I wanted to talk about the potion." She said, indicating the door to her rooms a few meters away.

He shrugged his shoulders appropriately nonchalantly and followed her in.

She excused herself and went to her room to get changed, and Snape took this as a chance to have a look around her rooms.

He looked on her mantle, where photos of herself and her parents, and ones of Harry, Ron and the rest of the Wesley family smiled back at him.

He moved on to her bookshelves as her voice came from her room.

"So, do you have any idea about what sort of potion this is? Other than what Dumbledore said?" she asked.

"No, I have not heard of such a potion before." He called back, running his long fingers along the sines of the books as he read their titles. "Yourself?"

"No, I'm just as clueless." She answered. "Are those times I mentioned definitely okay with you?" she asked.

"Yes, they-" he stopped and his eyes widened as he spied a book on her shelf. The Karma Sutra. He coughed a second, before finishing "Are."

"Everything all right out there?" she asked, opening the door. He jumped away form the bookshelf and leant against the mantle.

He nodded.

She smiled, and he took a moment to look at her outfit. She wore dark denim short shorts, a red camouflage print singlet and a black fishnet glove. A small silver chain hung from her jeans and her hair was out and teased, so it was even messier than usual. She had also added red and black streaks to her hair.

He just stared at her in shock.

"Strange? I know. But Jesse chose my outfit." She laughed.

"You're going out into the _halls_ like that?" he asked after a moment.

"No. I have a coat." She smiled, going back into her room and retrieving a long black coat.

He nodded. "So where do you take your lessons?"

"There's a community hall near Diagon Alley. I apparate there once I'm out of the school grounds and meet Jesse and the rest of the class." She said. "I should really be there now. Want to walk me to the Great Hall?" she teased.

"If it wasn't on my way down to the dungeons, then no. But it is, so I suppose I will have to." He sighed resignedly.

"Good." She said, pulling on the coat and grabbing her bag. "Just let me get my shoes on. She sat on the cough and pulled on some black dance shoes. They had black ribbons to tie around the ankle, and it took her a few minutes to get them to stay.

"Let's go." She said, pulling him to the door and out into the hall.

"You can let go of my arm, Miss Granger." He said once they got to the stairs.

"Oh, yes, Severus Snape can not be seen holding hands with a woman, now can he? Whatever _will_ the students think?" she laughed. "You can act like the gentleman I know you can be and help me down the stairs." She said.

"Anyone else would say you're still attempting to pull me." He commented.

"Anyone else would need psychiatric help. If I was still attempting to pull you I'd be a lot more obvious." She grinned and grabbed his arm, placed it on her hip like she had the previous night, snuggling into the crook of his arm. "See? _Now_ I'm attempting to pull you."

He just looked at her disdainfully.

They reached the Great Hall and he let go of her. "Now, see, I'm not sure if I'm still meant to be trying to pull you… This is difficult." She sighed.

"And what would the difference be?" he asked. "Either way, we're parting ways."

"Ah, yes, but there are many different ways to part ways. If that makes sense…" she smiled. "For example, I could just say goodbye and make my way out the door. But if I was trying to pull you I'd kiss you good bye, walk to the door, turn back and smile at you before leaving. See the difference?"

"Yes. Have you decided whether you're trying to pull me yet?" he asked.

"Severus! One would think you _wanted_ to be pulled." She chided mockingly.

"No, no, I merely want to know what to expect." He smirked.

She reached up and kissed him softly just next to his mouth and left, heading to the door.

"What was that?" he called over to her.

"Somewhere in the middle." She answered mysteriously. Now it was her turn to smirk.

- 'On a miracle drug…' -

"Mya! How you goin'?" gushed Jesse as she entered the hall.

"Hey Jess. I'm great, you?" she gave him a hug before moving towards the seats at the side of the hall.

"I'm fine." He said. "We're just waitin' on Theresa before we begin. We're goin' from the top, our solo. Full dress and tech rehearsal ready for next week." He said.

Jesse was tall, lean and athletic looking. He was black, with dreadlocked hair and brown eyes.

A few minutes later Theresa came in panting. "Sorry guys! My floo wasn't working! I had to catch the tube and then walk the rest!" she said, throwing her bag on the bench and moving to the side of the stage where her partner, Jarred, was waiting.

"S'ok, Thes." Said Jesse, smiling and taking his place at the side. They were the only ones on stage, as they began this first dance. "Ready Mya?" he asked. She nodded and took her position in the middle of the stage, towards the front. "Ready y'all?" everyone called back and he grinned. "Okay, Sam, hit it!"

Samantha, one of the dancers, waved her wand at the music player on the wall and a strong beat filled the air. Hermione felt the music over come her and she focussed on the dance and forgot everything else.

She started the dance on her own, strong moves to match the beat, and after a minute or two Jesse slid a chair along the side of the stage to land at her feet. She sat on it back to front, so she was facing the audience with the back of the chair in front of her. She lifted her leg over one side, so that she was sitting sideways and leant back, letting her hands raise her off the floor slightly. Lifting her back leg so that it was on the chair, her front so that it was raised, she froze.

The other girls came on stage and did the same dance as her, their partners sliding a chair to them from the side of the stage (hidden by curtains) and the froze in the same position as Hermione. They all kicked their chairs to the side of the stage at the same time, and crouched, coming up slowly and rolling their hips.

They guys came on stage, and stood behind them as they danced, then grabbed their hips and spun them around.

They continued until the song reached its end, and they ended with the girls held up by the guys in their hips, faces close together. Hermione was panting at the end, and so were all the others. She leant her forehead against Jesse's and slowed her breathing.

"You did good, Mya. Real good." He said, smiling. Before she knew it, he was kissing her. He gripped her tighter to him and held her. Her instincts made her hold him tighter and kiss him back, before her higher brain centres fought for control.

He let her go gently. "Sorry…" he said softly.

"It's okay… I just- I-" she faltered.

"Is there someone else?" he asked.

"No, no, not really. It's just- I want to stay friends. And I really don't know you, and you don't know me, and-" she sighed. "I'm sorry, Jesse, I just don't like you in that way." She said carefully.

He sighed. "Sure. I don't really know what made me do that. It just- yeah…" he said. The he grinned. "So what's with this 'not really' business, Mya?" he asked. The awkwardness between them was instantly forgotten.

She laughed. "A colleague. We kind of muck around, nothing at all really." She said.

"Yup, suuure, Mya." Jesse grinned, shaking his head. She punched him in the side of the arm playfully and grinned along with him.

Jesse turned to the rest of his group. "Okay, guys, I think we've basically got it down pat. I just want to go over that part where…"

- 'Freedom has a scent, like the top of a new born baby's head' -

Hermione arrived back at Hogwarts at about ten o'clock that night, half an hour before she was to be on duty. She hoped to try and catch up with Snape that night and tease him more. It was always fun to be able to get back at him for seven years of torture in classes.

She thought it a little strange that she and him had the same patrol duties as well as class times, but didn't ponder on it.

She went up to her rooms and quickly changed into some jeans and a shirt, throwing her jacket back on top and making sure she had her wand slipped up the sleeve. She left a little bit before ten thirty, when she was meant to begin her shift, so she decided to go down to the kitchens to grab a coffee and something to eat, as she hadn't had dinner.

When she entered, the normal stampede of foot tall beings rushed at her, one seemed to be at the very front.

"Miss Hermione! Dobby is so glad to see Miss! Dobby has so much to _tell!_" he gushed, looking up at her. "Dobby has gotten a pay-rise Miss, because Dobby is being Headmasters care-taker! An extra galleon a month, Miss!"

She grinned down at Dobby. "That's great, Dobby! But I'm afraid our talk will have to wait, I've got to get back to patrol in a minute. I was just wondering if I could get some coffee and something small to eat…?" she asked.

The elves that had backed away solemnly when Dobby had talked about his pay rise immediately rushed back, this time laden with trays of coffee, biscuits and cakes. She took a mug of coffee and a croissant, said thank you and goodbye to the house elves and Dobby, and left the kitchens.

She headed up to the first floor to begin patrols, sipping her coffee and taking a bite out of her croissant every now and then. No students were out of bed, and with no one to talk to, she felt herself getting drowsy, no matter how much caffeine she consumed.

"Harassing the house elves again, are we?" a smooth voice came from behind her.

She smirked and turned around. "Well, better then than some other "lower beings". Say your Slytherins, for example." She retorted.

He raised his eyebrow, looking dangerously sexy. No, no, she had to stop thinking like this. Though, he did look rather nice tonight, in that black… Wait, he always wears black. Which means he always looks nice. Ahh! She needed help. But most of all she needed to stop having these arguments in her head. It wasn't healthy.

"Yes, I suppose they can be rather lowly." He commented, making her expression change from smug to questioning. He walked towards her. "But, have you noticed; they always seem to get what they want." He said smoothly. He was now standing just a foot away and her heartbeat was quickening.

"Yes, well, us Gryffindors seem to end up quite well, don't we?" she said.

"Some. Though, I must say you're a bit sad." She laughed and shook her head.

"Me, sad?" she asked.

"Yes. You're twenty two, working at the same place you spent seven years of you childhood at and have no boyfriend." He explained.

She smiled. "Yes, and you're no better. In fact, you're in much the same position as I am." When she said the word position his mind flickered back to the book he had seen in her rooms, and he struggled to keep his face impassive. "You're forty, have been working for over ten years at the place you spent seven years of your childhood at and have no girlfriend. I'd say you're even worse off than me." She raised her eyebrow in challenge, but got none in return. He simply sighed.

"Yes, I suppose you're right. My life is rather pointless. Even scaring the students has lost it's fun." He said sadly.

"Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys said." She smiled.

He gave a snort of laughter. "Always look on the bright side of life?"

"No." she moved closer to him and explained. "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition." She was awfully close now and could feel his breath on her face.

He breathed in; he could smell the hint of perfume she always wore, the smell of jasmine. He could see each eyelash; he could count them if he wanted to. But he had other things he wanted to do. He let one hand drift to her cheek, moving around behind her neck. He pulled her in gently, and kissed her on the lips. She stood back, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry, I-" he began.

"No, no, it's okay. It's just… I know it's perfect for a kiss, and it would be the right thing to do under normal circumstances, but these aren't normal circumstances, and you're my colleague, and my ex-professor and we're friends, of a sort, and…" she drifted off. "I don't want this to happen because of a momentary lack of judgement." She sighed.

He nodded, and they stood in silence and minute before she realised she'd spilt her coffee on the floor. She bent down to clean it up with her wand, and he did the same to pick up the mug, and they bumped heads.

She laughed a second, before looking back at him.

Sod it, she thought, and kissed him, her hands moving to the back of his neck, his hands moving to sit on her hips to steady them. Finally they broke apart.

"Was that what you'd call a momentary lack of judgement?" he asked quietly. She grinned and kissed him again, this time pulling him up so they were both standing.

She leant against him, entwining her fingers in his thick black hair, his arms pulling her closers and looping around her waist. They stood like that for several minutes, before his higher brain functions kicked in and decided that he'd rather not get caught by a teacher, or god forbid, a student, so they stumbled off to his rooms, which were closer, and with less stairs.

They reached his rooms and stumbled in the door, miraculously managing not to fall. She suddenly realised what she was doing, as they began to make towards his bedroom.

She stopped kissing him and took a deep breath.

"Severus?" she asked quietly. "Um. I know it seems like I do, and I would, and it's not you, but… Um, I don't think I want to sleep with you tonight." She said.

His stomach dropped and he let go off her hips as if scolded.

"Oh." He said coldly.

"I like you, I really do, and I do want to… Eventually. But I just… I want to stay with you though. Is that okay?" she asked tentatively.

He smiled, one of the first true smiles she'd seen, and nodded. She grinned and leant up and kissed him, and they moved into his room. They both kicked off their shoes, and he took off his tie, but he really didn't know where to go from there. Did she want to sleep in their clothes? Completely nude? What did she expect?

She smiled at his hesitation and walked over to him, and looking a lot more confident than she looked, unbuttoned his shirt. She pulled it off, and he set to work on the small buttons on her own white dress shirt. He pulled it off they stripped down to their underwear.

He let himself be guided towards his bed and they both fell on it, kissing again. They lay down and he pulled the sheets over them, spooning her from behind.

He normally would've chided himself for showing his emotions so blatantly but sod it; he was with her.

- 'Miracle… Miracle drug…' -

Little did they know, as they had been kissing in the hall, a pair of pale blue eyes had been watching them. Albus Dumbledore's pale blue eyes, to be more exact. He stood in the shadows and grinned to himself, feeling very proud of himself for helping to bring these two together.

* * *

_'I am you and you are mine_

_Love makes nonsense of space_

_And time… will disappear_

_Love and logic keep us clear_

_Reason is on our side, love…'

* * *

_

Well, this one was shorter, only eight pages, but it only took me a day, and the other took over a week.

And many thanks to the movie "Sliding Doors" for its inspiration. That will continue, though not as much in future chapters, so it must be noted that this is in fact a good movie. Great, movie actually. Fascinating concept, and well done. Though I'm not a particular fan of Gwyneth Paltrow, I do love John Hannah (sexy Pippinesque accent. Yummy), and this movie was very well done.

God, listen to me. I sound like someone of The Movie Show on SBS.

Once again, I encourage you all to buy U2's album/s.

Actually, screw encourage. I order you to.

Buy the album, my pretties, BUY IT!

Hehehe… Hahahaha! Bwahahaha! MWAHAHAHA!

cough sorry…

Taraa.


	3. Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

HOW TO DISMANTLE AN ATOMIC BOMB 

**Disclaimer: **Ah, we meet again. Turns out I have an obsession. With U2, Harry Potter and fanfiction. How handy is that? But, I don't own it.

**Summary: **Tis a Hermy/Snape ficcy with influence of 'Sliding Doors' (not the plot, the events) and to the lyrics of U2's 'How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb' album (hence the title). Sounds interesting, huh?

**Rating:** Look, if you haven't read chapter one, why the feck are you here? Jeez…

**A/N: **It's 3:08 in the morning and I can't sleep. And we've run out of apple juice. And my laptop is going to run out of battery in one hour and eight minutes, and I really can't be fecked going and getting the power cords from the lounge room. And I'm playing U2. And attempting to use "" instead of '', which is a nasty habit I got in to when first using Word.

I need help.

_'And it's you when I look in the mirror_

_And it's you that makes it hard to let go_

_Sometimes you can't make it on your own_

_Sometimes you can't make it_

_The best you can do is to fake it_

_Sometimes you can't make it on your own'_

Hermione woke drowsily the next morning, sitting up in an unfamiliar bed. She looked around and saw the time. Nine thirty. It was Saturday morning, so she wasn't late for any classes, and she fell back against the pillows. She felt the bed next to her and it was warm; he must have left not long ago.

She rolled over and saw a piece of parchment on his pillow. She read it and grinned.

_Talk about a lack in judgement._

_Have gone to get us some breakfast. Didn't want to wake you._

_Severus ._

She fell back against the pillows contentedly, and finally felt something good was going on in her life. And about time, too. First she was picked on because she was a book worm. It didn't seem like much, but it really hurt, when they did it day after day. When she became Harry's friend she got flack from the student's and the media alike, always in some sort of sordid affair that had permanently marked her reputation. Then Ron, one of the only people she could really trust, died. And that bastard, Voldemort, the evil worm that had killed him and so many of her other friends, was still not gone. It just got so stressful sometimes. And no matter how relaxing dancing was, some things you just can't put away.

Her musings were interrupted by Severus coming into the room with a tray of breakfast.

"I went to the kitchens, rather than cause gossip about myself bring breakfast for two back to my rooms, especially with you not present either." He smirked, placing the tray on the bedside table.

"Like I said-"

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition?" he laughed.

"No. Nothing like a teacher/teacher relationship to end the year." She smiled, accepting the glass of orange juice he offered her.

They ate their marmalade toast in companionable silence before there was a knock at the door.

"Sod off. I'm sleeping." Severus called loudly.

"If you were sleeping, Severus, you wouldn't have replied." Albus Dumbledore's voice floated cheerfully back to them.

Hermione gave a snort of laughter as she looked at expression on Severus's face upon hearing it was Dumbledore.

"Bugger off, you old fool." Severus said exasperatedly.

"Now, now, Severus. Is that anyway to speak to an old man?" he called back jovially.

Severus grunted in frustration and climbed out of bed, still in the clothes he went out to get breakfast in.

A moment after he left the bedroom she heard him open the door and talk with Albus. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but from the tone of his voice, Severus wasn't very happy.

After a few minutes she heard him say angrily "Fine!" and slam the door.

He stalked back into the room glowering, and she frowned.

"What was it?" she asked.

"Albus. Being an old coot again. I swear that man's gone dodgy." He said angrily, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

She leant her head on his shoulder and looped her arms around his chest. "What does he want?" she asked.

"He wants me to go to Lucius's dinner party after the revel tonight." He said quietly.

"There's a revel _tonight_?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yes. And Lucius asked me to join him afterwards for dinner and drinks. It'll be Death Eaters and their wives going on about how great the megalomaniac they worship is. Just what I need."

"Bugger… And on the weekend, too." She sighed, and he gave a short chuckle.

"Yes, well, the Dark Lord hardly goes around asking if their next meeting time is appropriate for them. He calls you, and unless you answer, you're dead." He said darkly.

"Can I-" she faltered. "Can I see the mark?" she asked softly.

He turned around and looked at her a moment before pulling off his cloak and rolling off his shirt sleeve. There the mark was faint, a hint of the darkness she knew lay there.

She reached out a finger and touched it. It was warm, like the rest of his skin, but she somehow imagined that it should he burning hot, or cold.

She stared at it for a moment, before realising what she was doing and looked back at him.

'Here we go,' he thought. 'This is the bit where she works out just who I am, decides she doesn't want to spend time with an old Death Eater and leaves. Well, it was fun while it lasted…'

She smiled at him and kissed him on the lips, making his train of thought skid to a halt. He closed his eyes and let himself drown in her taste, not caring for letting his guard down again.

She grinned and enjoyed the feeling of him not trying to contain himself.

After a moment she broke apart, and he opened his eyes.

"We should get to work on that potion." She said softly.

He nodded and stood up, rolling his shirt sleeve down and pulling on his cloak. She climbed out of bed and pulled on her jeans, searching the floor for her shirt. She found it kicked under the bed and pulled it on.

She buttoned it up and grabbed her jacket, heading to the door.

"Hermione." She heard him call behind her.

She turned around and saw him beside another door that she had assumed was a cupboard.

"I've got a door to the lab in here." He said, indicating the door. She followed him through it and into a narrow hallway ending in a door that led into the small office behind the lab and classroom.

She moved through into the lab and saw a table laden with scrolls and old tomes.

"That's another thing Albus came to see me for," he explained. "He brought all these in for me this morning."

"Well, we should look through them until we find what we're looking for." She said, and he nodded.

They brought the parchments into his rooms and sat for many hours in front of the fire perusing them before Hermione found something, just as it was getting dark.

"Here, listen to this. 'The verita elixir has many of the same properties as it's brother, the veritaserum. By using verita elixir, the taker not only is forced to tell the truth, they are forced to retell things that a memory charm or potion may have uncovered, therefore retelling the whole truth, and not just as they taker sees it.' Sounds like our potion, doesn't it?" she asked him.

He nodded. "Does it have the recipe?"

She looked through a few more parchments and found it. 'Yes. Here we are. Belladonna, Dragon's claw, scales of a Hippocampus, all the main ones with a few small differences…" She said, looking over the parchment and then handing it to Severus.

He looked over it, nodding slightly, until he reached one point. "We need the blood of an innocent." He said.

"I know." She said, not at all perturbed.

"You know what that means, don't you?" he asked her, frowning.

"Yes. The blood of a virgin." She said. "Should be easy enough."

"I may not be known for my sexual expertise, Hermione, but I am not a virgin." He said.

"But I am." She said quietly.

He stared at her. "You. But at the pub. And last night. And the book." He spluttered.

She blushed. "I was just acting at the pub. And last night… Well, I don't know. It just felt nice to stay with you. That's probably why I didn't sleep with you last night, but I didn't want to say… And that book? Birthday present from Ginny." She smiled.

He stared at her a moment before focusing again. "Oh. And you wouldn't mind giving some blood?' he asked, a bit at a lost for what else to say.

She smiled. "A quick cut across the hand. Easy as. Won't hurt anymore than usual."

"Usual?" he asked.

She looked up at him. "Any other time I've given blood. For other potions." She explained.

He nodded and continued to peruse the ingredients needed. "Some of these I'll have to go to Knockturn Alley for, but they shouldn't be too difficult to acquire." He focused his gaze back on her. "Looks like we've found our potion." He smiled a little at this statement, but it quickly turned into a grimace as he clutched his arm.

"It's time?" she asked, and he nodded.

He stood up and went to his bedroom, and returned with a large black cloak and his Death Eater mask. It shocked her, though she didn't know why; she knew he was Death Eater, so logically he had the mask and cloak for reveries. But it just seemed so… harsh.

She stood up awkwardly as he pulled on the cloak and stood near him. He looked at her a second, before another wave of pain bit through his arm and he grimaced again.

She went on tip-toes and hugged him as hard as she could, not letting go for several minutes.

"Hermione, I-" he started, and she pulled back and nodded.

"Do you- do you know when you'll be back?" she asked quietly.

He shook his head. "I'll try and be back tonight, but I don't know what Lucius wants to talk about." He answered.

"Okay. Um, well, goodbye." She said, giving a small smile.

His face softened as he looked at her, and he kissed her lightly on the lips before touching his forefinger to the mark, which was now ink black, and disappeared.

----'You don't have to put up a fight, you don't have to always be right' ----

She sat back down on the ground where she had been standing and stared at the emptiness around her. Her heart pace was quickening, her breathing alternating between being laboured and coming in short gasps.

She blinked over and over again, rocking back and forth slightly, biting her lip and chewing the inside of her mouth.

She stood up suddenly and rushed back to her rooms, running full pelt for them, not caring for the papers she had left back in his rooms, not caring if anyone saw her leave them, not caring about anything other than the dire need to get back to her own rooms.

----- 'Let me take some of the punches for you tonight' -----

She removed the glamour from her arms with a wand, her true skin showing again. She breathed a sigh of relief at this reminder that it was a reality. She was really here. She needed to feel something other than the tirade of emotions she was feeling at the moment. She needed something physical.

She needed proof.

She took her razor from her shower and pulled out the blade, feeling the cool metal warm in her numb fingers. Her breathing slowed as she slid the razor along her arm. She closed her eyes as it was confirmed: she was alive. She was alive; she could feel the pain spark in her nerves, the skin open, the blood pool on her arm and cool, then harden. She took great shuddering breaths and grinned. She was there. It was all real. A feeling of ecstasy over came her, and she leant backwards, so she was lying back against the cold, white tiles. She started giggling suddenly, then laughing as loudly as she could. She laughed so hard tears rolled down her cheeks, blurring her view of her arms, dark lines crisscrossing from her elbows down to her wrists.

She eventually fell asleep there, a strange grin on her face, tears in her eyes, lying against the white tiles stained red in one place and still holding the tiny razor blade.

----- 'Listen to me, I need to let you know' -----

"Good to see you again, Severus." Lucius positively slimed over him as he left the manor.

"Tonight was a pleasure, as always…" Severus replied, trying to discreetly get away. He had to get back to Hogwarts and talk to Dumbledore.

Lucius smirked. "And I'm sure I can trust in your prudence about our conversation regarding my… persuasion of the Minister to put the Muggleborn Marriage Law into action?" It was not a question.

"Like always." He lied.

Lucius smirked and they finished their farewells before Severus left the grounds and apparated back to the gates of Hogwarts, hurrying up the path.

He went straight to Dumbledore's office and spoke the password, going into the office without knocking.

Albus looked up from some parchments on his desk and greeted "Severus."

"The Marriage Law is being passed." Severus replied, throwing himself into a seat.

Albus stared at him. "I beg your pardon?"

"The Muggleborn Marriage Law is being passed. Lucius put pressure on the Minister, and it's being passed. There should be an announcement in the Daily Prophet any day now." He said monotonously.

Albus thought about this for several minutes before nodding slightly. "We could work this to our advantage."

"How?" asked Severus.

"Warn all the muggleborn witches about the law. Train them, educate them, so that if they marry a Death Eater or relative of one, they can turn them. Either make them change for the light," Snape snorted at this. "Or bring them to us. I know it's not the ideal situation, but if the law is going to be passed, we may as well try to work it to our advantage."

"But what about the witches we _know_ will be killed. A few weeks into the marriage with a Death Eater, once they've been used, they'll be killed, and you know it. We'd be sending them to their deaths!" Snape shouted angrily.

"We cannot change this law! We have to make the best of it." Replied Dumbledore.

"But if they try and do anything on our behalf they'll be tortured for information on our plans on killed. We can't send them off to do our dirty work! It'd be signing their death certificates!" he yelled, standing up.

"Severus, sit down…" said Dumbledore tiredly. "I know, it's difficult. But we could educate them not to be so obvious. And to ward off attacks. Physical and mental self-defence against their husbands can do no harm. They'll be taught how to manipulate their husbands delicately, subtly. We'd be helping them, if anything. We can't change this law." He said quietly.

Severus sighed and sat back down, his head in his hands.

"I suppose you're right. But… It just feels like there should be something we can do to stop it. That _I _can do." He sighed.

"I know you want to help Hermione," Snape looked up sharply and the smallest of smiles tugged at the corners of Albus's mouth. "but we just have to bid our time."

Severus nodded.

"And you best be going back to her. I see she's in her rooms." He finished, looking at the large Weasley-esque clock standing in his office that showed where each of his staff members were. The hand with Hermione's name o it was pointing at 'Own rooms'.

Severus didn't bother to ask how he knew about Hermione and himself. He didn't have time to fathom the mind of Albus Dumbledore.

----- 'You don't have to go it alone' -----

"Hermione?" he called into the silent room. "Hermione, are you there?" he looked around the lounge room, the small kitchen and her bedroom. He walked over to a door that led off from her bedroom into what he supposed was her bathroom.

"Hermione. Here you are." He said, standing next to her as she washed her hands. She smiled at him through the mirror and turned off the tap, turning around to wipe her hands on the towel. He smiled back, deciding whether to tell her about the law or not.

"How was it?" she asked.

"Hell, like usual." He sighed. She smiled sympathetically and hugged him again, like before he had left.

He rested his chin on her head, the brassy curls tickling his nose.

She looked up and kissed him richly, holding his head in her hands, running her fingers through his hair.

She felt like she had when she had cut herself earlier. She felt alive, real, she could feel it all. And she wanted more of this feeling, she wanted so much more.

She kissed him frantically, pulling on the buckle of his cloak.

"I think we may need to take that blood for the potion now. I don't know if I can wait much longer." She said huskily.

She wanted him so much.

His eyes widened. "Hermione…" he said, breaking the kiss. "Hermione, I don't know… I don't want to push you into anything…" he said, pulling her arms from around his neck to holding them at her sides. "I mean, I don't want to- What are these?" he asked, moving his hands up the smooth skin of her arms and coming across a series of cuts, some deep, some shallow, all the way up her forearm.

He picked one up and pulled back her shirt and cloak sleeve and gasped at what he saw. Red cuts, fresh and old, imbedded deep into her skin.

She cursed herself inwardly for forgetting to cast the glamour in her rush to clean herself up before he got back.

"Hermione, what are these?" he asked quietly, checking the other arm and finding it in the same state.

"Nothing, they're nothing, okay?" she hurriedly pulled down her sleeves and tried to push past him into the bedroom, but he blocked the door.

"They most certainly are not nothing." He said, holding her shoulders. "Hermione, why?" he asked her quietly.

"Just forget about them, okay? Just forget it! They aren't bad, I don't have to or anything. I'm not some sort of freak, you know!" she yelled, trying frantically to get past him.

"Hermione, you're not a freak! But you can't keep doing this to yourself. Please, just listen!" he said.

"No! I'm sick of listening! Everyone tells me to listen, and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of it all! I always have to sit back and let the grown ups, or the boys, do everything! I can't stand not helping, and I just sit there, and I can't _feel_ anything! It's like I don't exist, like I'm not real! This proves that I am! Every time my nerves spark, or I feel it run, or it scabs, I know I'm here! It's not just all a dream, this is real. _I'm_ real! And it feels good, Severus. It feels so damn good!" she started to cry, great shuddering sobs erupting from her.

He grabbed hold of her and hugged her tight as she sobbed, clutching her to him.

"But, but this isn't right! It's not healthy, and there are other ways to help you, make you feel good." He said quietly.

"I know it isn't right! _I'm_ not right! I've _never_ been right, never good enough." She said into his chest. He sat down slowly, pulling her with him. They sat like that for several minutes as she calmed down, and she ended up lying down with her head in his lap as he stroked her hair with one hand and held her shoulders with the other.

"You can't keep doing this…" he said quietly.

"I know." She answered quietly. "Every time I do it I think that, but it's like a drug. This great rush, it's like I'm addicted. I don't know of anything that feels better." She said.

"I know of a few…" he said after a moment.

She snorted. "Like what?"

"Well, what you were suggesting before isn't so bad." He smiled.

She gave a short laugh. "Are you hitting on me, Severus?" she asked.

"Oh, so we're back to that again, are we?" he asked.

They were silent a few more minutes before he said quietly "I think you had a point though, earlier. We should probably take your blood now. And not just, well, if we, um… But if you meet someone else and decide to…"

"What, Severus, can't say it?" she asked, sitting up and smirking at him.

"Sex, Severus, sex. Or would you rather me call it something else?" she said, sitting his lap. "'It'? Or something a little more technical, like fornicating, or copulating? Or good old terms like bang, or lay, or screw, or make love, or sleep together, or bonk, or maybe, just maybe…" she whispered into his ear. "Fuck." He shivered at hearing such a word escape her lips. "Say it, Severus. Say it with me." She whispered down his throat.

"Which one?" he asked, holding back a groan as she sucked on his pulse point.

"Any…" she whispered against his skin.

"Screw, lay… bang… Oh, god, Hermione-"

"I don't remember saying that…" she smirked.

"Make love, sleep together, sex…" he threw his head back and moaned as she continued to suck on his neck, her finger grazing his chest and waist under his cloak.

"For a virgin, you're very good at this…" he said huskily.

She looked up at him with a smug look on her face. "Say it. Say it for me. Please, Severus, say it." She pouted at him.

"Fuck…" he groaned. "Fuck, fuck, fuck… Oh good god, Hermione." He panted.

She stood up and moved out of the bathroom and he took a minute to compose himself before following her.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

"Taking blood." She smirked.

He came up behind her and saw her use a thin knife from the kitchen to draw blood from a scar in her arm, dribbling the red liquid into a small vile.

"Enough?" she asked, holding up the vile to show him.

He nodded and she set it on the table, placing the knife in the sink of warm water.

"Now, where were we?" she asked, turning back to him. She pulled him closer, so that she was between him and the sink and pushed her hands through his black locks. "Here we are…" she whispered, kissing him again.

"Hermione, are you sure?" he asked, breaking apart. "I don't want to go too far- I might not be able to stop." He said.

"I'm sure. So sure. Never been surer of anything. Ever." She confirmed.

"Well, then, there's only one question. Here or in the bedroom?" he smirked.

"Or maybe up against the wall, or on the table, or in the bathroom, or on the washing machine." She smirked back.

"Washing machine?" he asked.

"Muggle invention. Not important." She said hurriedly. "So, where's it to be?"

"Well, there's be plenty of time for those later. I think we'll just stay where we are…" he said, kissing her neck. "Say it for me…" he said, smirking.

"I believe I already have." She said.

"Again, please…" he pleaded unbuttoning her white shirt slowly.

"Fuck… Fuck, fuck me." She smirked, tossing her head back. "Fuck me, Severus."

God, hearing her say those words. It was like an angel letting sweet obscenities slip from her tongue. And what she _meant_. Oh god, he wanted her.

"I will. I will, I will, I will, Hermione." He gasped, before kissing her again.

He pulled off her top, kissing down her chest and crouching in front of her pants, unbuckling them and pulling them down. She hopped onto the edge of the sink, starting to undo his cloak. His shirt and pants were soon discarded as well, and that answered the infamous 'briefs or boxers' question: boxers, and black satin ones at that.

She started feverishly kissing him again, pulling him as close as she could. He sucked on her neck whilst undoing her bra and she threw her head back.

"Severus…" she whispered, as he continued kissing her chest.

He stood back up to kiss her again, fingers tugging gently on the waist of her underwear.

She braced herself against the back edge of the sink and lifted up her waist so that he could pull them down.

She was now completely naked, and he was just in boxers (shoes had been discarded long ago). She was leaning against the wall behind the sink, her bum dipping into the warm water. She hooked her legs around his waist and pulled him as close as she could, leaning against him and holding him close.

"Are you sure?" he asked again, barely able to hold back.

"Yes"

_'We fight all the time_

_You and I… that's alright_

_We're the same soul_

_I don't need… I don't need t hear you say_

_That if we weren't so alike_

_You'd like me a whole lot more'_

Yes, I know, I promised nothing sexually explicit, but this isn't really. I could go further, and I just might, but I need some bloody good reviews in order to, so REVIEW DAMMIT!

cough

Anyway…

The ahem, positions they mentioned were from a COSMO (tacky, I know) article named 'How to get it on in every room in the house'. I cacked myself laughing at that one.

I also found 'diary of a pornstar' interesting (LARA! They stole your diary!).

But nothing is as 'interesting' as the thought of Snape in black satin boxers.

But there's enough about my sexual preferences, what about yours? I mean, no, don't, I'm disturbed enough already.

I can't think of much else to say, but there was something, and now I've forgotten… Bugger it!

Gimme a moment, lemme see if it comes to me…

OH! I remember now… You see, I wanted to put the self mutilation (cutting) in the warning, but that would've given away one of the plot 'twists'. And that just wouldn't do. So I figure if they are prepared to read R rated stories, then they should handle it. So there.

That's about it from me.

So, thanks for reading the fanfic so far (and my babbling before and after it) and review, my darlings!

Love Fred Depp. (sigh, I wish…)

GET THE FECKING CD!


	4. Love And Peace Or Else

HOW TO DISMANTLE AN ATOMIC BOMB 

**Disclaimer:** As much as I would like to own Snape (in boxers, if available), I don't. BUT no one, and I mean _no one_, is taking my laptop away from me.

grr

I also don't own Bono or U2. And that just sucks.

**Summary: **Hermy/Snape. Tame plot with a few twists and turns along the way.

**Rating:** look, if you read the last chapter and are still here, do I really have to tell you?

**A/N: **One of my favourite songs on the CD is this one, 'Love And Peace Or Else'.

I don't quite know where to take this so far, it's getting a bit worn out.

OMG, I had to take down my wall of Johnny Depp articles yesterday, as we're moving soon. It's all so _empty_. cries!repeatedly

Hehe, just saw a bit of a kids TV show: "Say, what are you doing?" "I'm going to collect clouds!" "Ah, I see… Carry on."

Wtf?

Anyway, on with the chapter.

'_Lay down_

_Lay down_

_Lay your sweet lovely on the ground_

_Lay your love on the track_

_We're gonna break the monster's back_

_Yes we are…'_

Hermione's mind was racing as she came down from her high, slumped against Severus.

'I just lost my virginity to Snape on my kitchen sink' was the first thought that ran through her mind.

'And I enjoyed it' was the second. She felt she should feel more disgusted with herself, but it was hard to when you were coming down from a post orgasmic high resting on a sexy man. A very sexy man. Why didn't I see that Snape was sexy before? She asked herself. Screw it, she knew now.

'I just shagged Granger on her kitchen sink' was the first thought to come to Severus's mind as he panted and leant against her.

'And I enjoyed it' was the second. He had just screwed the bane of his existence, the little know-it-all who tormented him as a child, took her virginity. And against the kitchen _sink_?

Well, you couldn't say it was ordinary.

"Severus…" she whispered against his shoulder, and opened her eyes at letting that slip.

He looked down at her and smiled slightly, picking her up off the sink and lowering her. She leant against him heavily until she got her footing, then let go.

"I- I-" she started, but couldn't find the right words.

"I'm sorry." Said Severus, sadness in his eyes. "I shouldn't have done that. You weren't in any state to do that." On closer inspection, she could also see guilt and shame in his onyx eyes.

"No! No, Severus, I'm glad, I'm so, so glad…" she assured him, pulling him close and kissing him. "So, so, so glad." She kissed him in between each word. "Can we… Um, can we go to bed? It's just a little uncomfortable on there…" she smiled.

He looked at her and saw she wasn't upset, or guilty, or ashamed or disgusted or any of the things he thought she would be. He let burst a grin, the first real grin she'd ever seen him wear, and picked her up, carrying her into the bedroom.

----- 'I don't know if I can take it' -----

"Good god, woman, are you trying to kill me?" he asked as she sat on top him again.

"Come on, Sevvy! You got me into this. You're the one that said it felt better than what I was doing before." She smirked.

"And is it?" he asked.

"Well, this is. I don't know about sex with anyone else though… Maybe I should go and experiment, see if you're up to standard…" she teased.

"You wouldn't dare." He growled.

"Oh wouldn't I? I can play Ice Maiden with you if I want to, Snape." She said coolly.

"But _do_ you want to?" he asked.

"Nope." She kissed him again, hands roaming.

"No, Hermione, please. Anymore and I'll be killed." He groaned.

She gave a short snort of laughter. "Okay then… But tomorrow night, you are _so_ in for it." She said, rolling off him and onto her back.

"Who said anything about night? We have the whole day to ourselves…" he smirked, looking at her from the corner of his eye as he lay on his back.

She laughed. "Only a few hours ago I'd never had sex. And now I'm practically addicted to it. Or you. Or both." She grinned.

"Well, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition."

----- 'I'm not easy on my knees' -----

"Ginny! Ginny, are you there?" Hermione called, walking through the cramped apartment belonging to the youngest Weasley.

"In the kitchen!" she yelled back, and Hermione made her way through the mess to the kitchen.

"Hey Gin…" she said in greeting.

"Hermy!" she squealed, running over to see her.

"Ginny, you saw me a few days ago!" she laughed, hugging the redhead.

"I know, I know… But it seems like I never see you any more…" she sighed.

"Macaroni cheese?" she asked Hermione, heading back over to the pot on the stove.

"Don't mind if I do. I haven't had lunch yet." Hermione agreed, sitting down at the small wooden table.

"Honestly, no wonder you can't get a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or whatever…" Hermione said, looking around. "The place is a pigsty!"

"Ta." Ginny said dryly, placing a dish of pasta in front of her friend with a fork.

Hermione just shook her head and dug in.

"Jeez, you're hungry. Looks like someone was active last night!" she joked, and Hermione blushed. "No, shit, you were? Ohmigod!" she squealed. "But wait, aren't you a virgin?" she asked suddenly. Hermione laughed inwardly at how blunt Ginny always was. It was refreshing.

"I was. Until last night." She blushed further.

"Who?" asked Ginny excitedly.

Hermione took a deep breath. "Snape."

Ginny burst out laughing. "Harry owes me ten galleons!" she guffawed.

"What? You made _bets_ on me?" she asked indignantly.

"Yes, on who'd deflower Granger first. I said it'd be him- there's something about him, and you were all over him at the pub. Harry was still sure that Seamus, the man-whore that he is, would bed you first." She explained.

"That's sick…" she said, grimacing at the thought.

"Anyway, how was he?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Good," Hermione blushed even further, one to rival a Weasley blush. "Very good. Very, very, very, extraordinarily, amazingly good." She closed her eyes in bliss. "Good _god_ that man can screw."

Ginny stared at her in awe. "You lucky bitch." She said enviously. "So, in his rooms or yours? Or in the supply closet?" she teased.

"My rooms. On the sink…" she grinned.

"The _sink_? Ohmigod, that's cool. Now you shall be forever known as the the girl who lost her virginity on the kitchen sink. Or Kinky Sink. That sounds better, catchy." Laughed Ginny.

"Oh, it was great. And then we went to my bedroom and, Ginny- three times." She gushed.

Ginny stared at her in shock. "You slut!" she laughed.

"Hey, it was only one man!" she replied indignantly. "But oh… Oh Ginny, it was amazing. And he wasn't like usual, all snarly and all, he was nice. He grinned. The first real grin I've ever seen him give." She sighed happily.

"I still can't get overt he fact that you did it on the sink!" Ginny said.

"Ginny, we've moved on in the conversation…" prompted Hermione.

"The _sink_!" she gasped.

"Ginny! Can we move on now?" asked Hermione.

Ginny snapped out of her sink-hallucination-induced reverie and looked back at Hermione.

"So, why aren't you going at it like bunnies now? It's Sunday." Asked Ginny.

"Yeah, but he got called to Dumbledore's office, and their conversations usually take _hours_, so I thought I'd come and see you." She explained.

"Oh, so now I'm second choice to Snape?" Ginny replied haughtily.

"No. You're second choice to amazing sex with Snape all around my rooms. And you come very close to that one. I'm sure if we had amazing sex, you'd be up first preference, but I'm afraid we aren't and probably are never going to. Thank god. How much would that screw up our friendship?" they both laughed.

"Yes, see, at least there's no friendship to screw up with Snape. But you do work together." Ginny said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, well, we'll see where we go… Anyway, I must get back. He should be back any time now and I don't want to waste a minute. Tomorrow's Monday, so we can't stay up too late without having suspiciously baggy eyes in the morning. I just know the students are speculating about their two absent members of staff from meal times already…" she said worriedly.

"I doubt it. The idea's too unrealistic. Snape and Granger." She laughed. "It's like that thing those strange people on the muggle television say:"

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" they said together and burst out laughing.

"I'll go now, before I get stuck in some other conversation with you. We could go on for hours, we could." Laughed Hermione.

"Okay. Well, we'll catch up later, yeah?" Ginny asked, hugging her friend goodbye.

"Definitely." She said, and the last thing she saw before she apparated back to the outskirts of Hogwarts was Ginny looking wistfully at the kitchen sink.

----- 'Here's my heart, you can break it' -----

"Hello stranger." She said, coming up behind Severus as he sat in a chair in his lounge room reading through the parchment on the verita ilixir again.

She leant over the back of the chair and rested her chin on his head.

"If you're getting… cuddly on me, I will have to rethink this." He warned, not looking up from the papers.

"Say that again." She laughed.

"God, not again…" he sighed.

"Not that one. Say cuddle." She grinned.

"No." he objected.

"Pleeease? I don't know when I'm ever going to hear you say that again." She said, coming round to face him.

"_No._" he said again, still perusing the parchment.

She took them out of his hands and put them on the mantle, sitting on his lap, straddling his lips so she could face him.

"I can think of more… productive ways to spend our time than that potion…" she said slyly, starting to unbutton his shirt.

"Good god, I've created a monster." He said as she continued her ministrations.

She pulled it off and looked up at him.

"What?" she asked.

He just shook his head. "Nothing. I just never thought I'd be sitting here with Hermione Granger on my lap proceeding to remove me of my, and her, clothing."

"Yes, well, no one expects the Sp-" she was cut off by him kissing her, imitating her previous actions on her shirt.

----- 'I need some release, release, release, release…' -----

"Hermione? Hermione, are you in there?" Harry couldn't believe he was knocking on Snape's door looking for Hermione.

"Potter?" asked Snape, halfway through unbuttoning Hermione's pants. "Why _Potter_?" he cried.

She just laughed. "Maybe if we're quiet enough he won't know we're hear." She giggled.

She kissed him again, stifling her giggles against his mouth. He resumed undoing her pants and she had to bite her hand to keep from making a noise.

She started kissing his neck, working on pulling his shirt off while staying sitting in the chair.

They managed to successfully fall out of the chair with a loud thump, and Hermione biting his shoulder- hard- in an attempt to stop laughing. He yelped and they heard Harry knock on the door again.

"Hermione! Hermione, I know you're in there, Dumbledore's clock said so!" he yelled, pounding on the door.

Hermione was in near hysterics.

"Hermione, you should answer it." Snape hissed, standing up and picking up his shirt.

She attempted to compose herself and pulled on her pants and shirt, fixing her hair.

He kissed her again and she started laughing again. "Go! Go on!" she grinned, pushing him through the door to the potions lab.

She breathed deeply and opened the door, smiling serenely at Harry.

"Hermione! Thank god! I thought Snape'd kidnapped you or something!" he laughed, hugging her.

"Um, no, we were just, um… potions! Yes, we were giving blood for a potion, that's all. I yelped, that's probably what you heard." She assured him.

He looked at her suspiciously. "Why are you in here, then? Shouldn't you be in the lab?" he asked.

"Um, he has an alarm, yeah. It goes off when someone knocks on his door, and he sent me to check who was here." She said.

"How'd you get here without me seeing you?" he asked, confused.

"Floo. I fell out of the fire, you probably heard a someone fall over." She assured him.

"Oh." He looked at her uncertainly.

"So, what did you want?" she asked.

"I was wondering if you knew about the Marriage Law being put into place." He said.

"No, no I didn't. Here, come in." she said, opening the door. "So, why's it being passed? How? When?"

"Lucius Malfoy. He's bribed the Minister, got him to pass the law. It should be announced in the _Prophet_ any day now." He answered.

"But- but- He can't just do that! There are rules- Human rights- and he can't just do this! They can't let him!" she spluttered angrily.

"They can and they have. Dumbledore's got some plans for the witches married off, Order members going to Death Eaters, but there's nothing else he can do." Harry said sadly.

"That's totally unjust, making muggleborn witches marry off, but not muggleborn wizards. It's like having to win the bloody vote all over again!" she fumed.

"I know, it's totally unfair. But Dumbledore says we have to just go along, not cause a stir until we work out a plan of action." Harry said.

She growled in frustration. "No! He can't bloody _do_ that! It's so- so-"

"Unfair? Bad? Horrible?" he supplied.

"Fucked up." She finished angrily.

"Look, 'Mione, I've gotta go. Work stuff and all. But I'll floo, or owl, or whatever. Don't get too down, okay?" he asked, hugging her.

"No, don't worry. I'll be okay." She said into his shoulder.

He opened the door and turned back to her.

"I love you, 'Mione. See ya." He smiled.

"Love you too, Harry." She smiled back and he left, shutting the door behind him.

He smile turned to an dangerously thin line, her eyes glaring around her.

"You are _so_ dead now, Snape." She hissed to herself as she strode along the passage to the lab.

She flung the door open and it slammed loudly against the stone wall. Severus looked up from where he was preparing some of the ingredients for the potion.

"Severus Snape, _why_ did you not tell me about the Marriage Law being passed?" she said, dangerously quiet.

He dropped the knife he was using and froze.

"Is that what Potter told you?" he asked quietly.

"You're avoiding the question." She said, moving over so she was standing just inches away from him. "Why didn't you tell me?" she prodded him in the chest with her forefinger.

"I talked with Dumbledore about it yesterday, then I came back and found you in the bathroom, and it really wasn't what was on my mind when I saw your arms. Then, well, there were other things to do- several times, I might add- and then I left this morning before you'd woken up." He explained, looking at her nervously.

"And before Harry arrived." She asked viciously.

"Yet again, we both had other things on our minds." He smirked.

"Don't think you're off the bloody hook, Snape." She fumed throwing herself down in a chair. "Now I have to go and marry some old man, some Death Eater, probably, and have children with someone I don't even _like_, let alone _love_, and that means that _we're_ over, just when something was bloody going right!" she said, some of her frustration being replaced by sadness.

"Hermione," he said, crouching down next to her. "You _do_ know that I'm a pureblood, don't you?" he asked her quietly.

"Yes, but what does that- Oh my… _We_ could get married…" she said slowly.

He nodded. "But, I don't want to pressure you into anything. I mean, neither of us are ready for marriage, but the option is there." He said.

She nodded. "Thank you." She said turning to him.

"For what?" he asked frowning.

"For that. For being you." She said. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather marry." She gave a small smile and kissed him on the lips. "So if this law is passed, I think I've got the best deal." She laughed.

"Like Brian said: Always look on the bright side of life." He said.

She laughed. "How _do_ you know about Monty Python, anyway?" she asked, standing up.

"Dumbledore. He had these bloody muggle video nights for weeks, made us watch cult and popular films. Shocking…" he shook his head.

"What movies?" she asked as they made their way back to his rooms.

"Well, most of the Monty Python ones. Then some classics- Gone With The Wind and Doctor Zhivago." He shuddered. "And cults, like The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Lots of Shakespearean ones, Romeo and Juliet and the like. Plus musical. God, how he loved musicals…" he said darkly.

Hermione laughed. "Like?"

"Well, Rocky Horror, for one. And Moulin Rouge, Chicago, you know the ones… I must say, The Lord Of The Rings wasn't bad, though." He said.

"Have you read the books?" she asked excitedly.

"No, but I'm sure you have." He said.

She nodded. "Who was your favourite character?" she asked.

"Well, Aragorn was good. Gimli was also amusing at times." He answered, holding the door to his quarters open for her. "And yourself?"

"I always had a soft spot for Pippin, but Aragorn was dead sexy in the movies." She grinned.

He tried to look offended. "Well, I know when I'm not wanted. Maybe I'll just leave you and _Aragorn_ alone and go work on that potion." He said haughtily.

She grabbed his collar and pulled him in close. "Don't you dare…" she whispered.

'We need 

_Love and peace_

Love and peace' 

Well, looking back at it, that was craptacular. Sorry for wasting any time, but I p-r-o-m-i-s-e the next one will be better.

Promise.

A/N: His views on Gone With The Wind and Doctor Zhivago are not my own. Have never seen either, though one of my best friends and my mum adore DZ, so perhaps I should take a look.

But Hermy's view on LOTR characters are my own. I love Pippin. PIPPIN PIPPIN PIPPIN (Frodo! Ah cannae ge' ou' the toile'! (Yes, I get worried at how easily I can slip into the mental state of him as well…)) cough Plus, Aragorn does look dead sexy. Viggo is dead sexy. OMG, dreams of A Perfect Murder Viggo…. But Lara, he's all yours.

I have Depp. Johnny Depp.

MWAHAHAHA.

Oh, and buy the flipping CD already, will you?

Toodloo.


	5. City Of Blinding Lights

HOW TO DISMANTLE AN ATOMIC BOMB 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own HP or U2. At this point the author bursts into tears, muttering incoherently between sobs about 'my beautiful, beautiful Severus…'

**Summary:** Yet another Hermy/Snape. Yup, just what the world needed.

**Rating:** The rating for this fanatic fiction is R, people under 18 not admitted unless accompanied by an adult. Eeek, I've seen too many movies.

**A/N:** I am going to counselling to talk over my obsession with Severus Snape. They would ask me to talk about my Johnny Depp obsession, but they figure it's normal. Most human beings agree Johnny Depp is gorgeous.

'Neon heart dayglo eyes 

_A city lit by fireflies_

_They're advertising in the skies_

_For people like us'_

Muggleborn Marriage Law Passed 

_Yesterday evening Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic, announced that the Muggleborn Marriage Law had been passed and would come into action immediately. Full story page 3._

"That slimy little git!" fumed Hermione as she read the front-page article the next morning at breakfast.

She looked up and saw that most of the school was having the same reaction to the _Daily Prophet_ headline as she was.

Everywhere small arguments were breaking out, people were standing up and yelling at each other; a few girls had even started crying.

Several of the students looked up at her when she yelled out that insult, and many widened their eyes; they obviously hadn't realised she would be paired of as well.

She left the Great Hall through the staff door on the side, slamming it behind her.

"Bullocks!" she shouted, pacing just outside the door. "Bullocks, bullocks, buggering _bullocks_!"

"Miss Granger!" Hermione looked up and saw Mischa Jones and Juliet Thomas (of no relation to Dean Thomas) running towards her.

"Hi girls…" sighed Hermione.

"Miss Granger, I don't want to get married! Please, can't we do something?" asked Mischa tearfully.

Hermione shook her head. "I'm afraid not. But remember, only some witches will get chosen. With any luck, you won't be chosen, and then you can marry who ever you like." She smiled sadly.

Juliet nodded. "Is there anyone you'd want to marry?" she asked, smiling a little.

"Well, not marry. Not yet, anyway. But there is someone." She blushed a little.

"Oh, who?" squealed Mischa.

"Just someone." Hermione answered mysteriously.

"Oh, go on Miss, tell us!" begged Juliet.

"Yes, do tell us." A cold voice came from behind her. She turned around and there was Snape, walking towards them and smirking.

Mischa and Juliet stared at him, before turning expectantly to Hermione.

"That is for me to know and you to find out." She said, turning to head to her next class.

She caught a glimpse of Severus before she left, his eyebrow cocked and a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

----- 'Oh you look so beautiful tonight' -----

Severus Snape was striding purposefully down the hall towards his dungeons where his class was waiting when a hand shot out from the side and grabbed his arm. He was tugged into a large, dark broom cupboard when he felt a mouth press against his own. He relaxed. Hermione.

He kissed her for a minute before stopping. "Hermione, we have to get to our classes…" he said regretfully.

She sighed. "I know. I just wanted to see you again." She smiled.

He kissed her again before being pushed back out of the cupboard. He dusted himself off and continued his path down to the dungeons.

----- 'In the city of blinding lights' -----

The next morning there was even more uproar in the Great Hall than there had been the previous morning. The first list of names of the witches to be married off had been posted.

Three girls from Hogwarts were in the list, and all their friends were crowding around them. One of them was Juliet, one of the girls that had talked with Hermione yesterday.

The girls had two weeks to view and accept any offers of marriage. If they hadn't received any offers or had turned them all down, the Ministry would select a husband for them.

Severus was paler than usual- two of the women in the list were around his age, and if they didn't accept any offers of marriage, the Ministry was almost certain to choose him.

"Cheer up," whispered Hermione from the corner of her mouth. "I doubt they'll choose you. You're too much of a bastard." She grinned and squeezed his hand under the table.

He cast her an appreciative glance and continued to push his food around his plate.

She turned fully to him to talk to him. "We have a free period next. We should- finally- get to work on that potion." She smirked slightly.

He nodded and they left the Hall via the side door, Hermione picking up a piece of buttered toast on the way.

They made it all the way to the lab before jumping each other, barely shutting the door behind them.

As they kissed he picked her up against his hips, pushing her against the wall while she ran her hands through his hair.

"Severus, we need to work on that potion…" she interrupted regretfully after a moment.

He nodded slowly and let her down, and they set to work on the potion.

"Okay, so we have everything we need?" she asked as they prepared the ingredients.

"Yes, Dumbledore ordered those that we needed in from Hogsmeade." He answered.

"Okay. I'll go get my blood then." She smiled, heading out the door to her rooms.

Once there, she quickly headed into the kitchen where her vial of blood was still sitting on the sink. She was heading out the door when she looked back at the bathroom.

'What the hell,' she thought. 'Not like one more is going to hurt.' And she went and picked her razor out of her shaver like she had just a few days ago. She was quick this time; a small cut near the underside of her elbow after removing the glamour and only a few seconds to revel in the bliss that consumed her. She quickly recast the glamour and rolled down her sleeve, rinsing the blade and putting it back in the shaver before heading out the door, feeling as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

She opened the door to the lab and was met by a sight that she had seen so many times but managed to mesmerise her.

Severus fished the soaked dragon's claw out of a cauldron filled with water, bringing it down to the small wooden chopping board in front of him. He started to slice it finely, frowning in concentration. He had removed his cloak and had rolled his shirtsleeves up to just above his elbows, showing lean and slightly muscled arms from years of stirring cauldrons. His hair hung down around him like a glossy black curtain.

Hermione's breath caught in her throat. How many times had she seen him like this and not noticed how… _sexy_ (that was the only word she could think of to describe it) he was?

She closed the door quietly behind her and walked over to him, placing the vial of blood on the table.

He threw a quick glance up, then resumed his work. She smiled; nobody ever came between Severus Snape and his work. Not even his… girlfriend? Was that the right word? It seemed okay for her, but that would make him her boyfriend, and she couldn't ever imagine Severus Snape ever being a 'boyfriend' kind of guy. She giggled at the thought, but he didn't look up. So, what were they? Partners? That seemed a little too… concrete. They'd only just 'gotten together' a few days ago. Lovers? Well, it seemed to fit, but she didn't really like the sound of it. She always associated 'lover' with being the woman on the side, the quick shag.

She stopped. She wasn't that, was she? She didn't think so; as much as he could be cold and callous sometimes, she just didn't think he was that type of guy. At least, she hoped not.

So what _were_ they? Each others' better halves? She shook her head. The only thing she could come up with was… the 'significant other'. It summed them up fairly well, in her opinion.

So, he was her 'significant other', hey? She looked back at him as he worked. She could get used to that.

She was interrupted from her musing by a question.

"Could you measure out exactly five milligrams of that?" he held out the vial of blood.

"Sure." She took it over to the sink and measured it out. "Where do you want it?" she asked, bringing it back over to the bench.

"Once I've added the belladonna, we wait until it turns dark red, then we can add it." He added the chopped up belladonna root in and the cauldron bubbled before returning to its previous state. "It should take about half an hour before it turns red, and then once you've added the blood it takes three days to ferment so that we can add the dragon's claw." He finished. "So, what was it you were laughing about earlier?" he asked.

"The fact that you could technically be called my boyfriend." She smirked.

His face turned from a small smile to a glare. "If you ever, _ever_, call me that again…" he growled.

"You'll what? Stop kissing me?" she said smugly.

"If you're not careful." He warned.

"Oh, I'm so afraid." She mocked. "My _boyfriend_ won't kiss me."

"Fine." He said, and turned to walk out the door to his rooms. She followed, smirking a little when he picked up a book and sat down in a chair by the fire once they had entered his rooms. This was going to be fun.

She left the room and headed off for her own, retrieving a book from her shelves and going back down to his rooms.

When she entered he didn't look up, and she moved over to the second chair and sat in it, one leg over the other so that her skirt rode up her thighs a little. She then opened the book- The Karma Sutra- and began to read.

After a few minutes Severus looked up, saw what she was reading and coughed, quickly turning back to his own book. She smirked as she continued reading. It was very… educational. 'Once he's given in maybe… Ah, mustn't get a head of myself.' She thought. 'I've got to get him to give in first.'

She shifted slightly and let the book fall to the ground, leaning down to pick it up and giving him a nice view of her cleavage at the same time. She sat back up, hitching her skirt up further. She looked up to see if he was looking but he was still studying the texts in his hand. She frowned. Okay, she was going to have to be a bit more obvious.

She shifted a little and moaned just the tiniest bit, rubbing her forefinger along her thigh. She sighed seductively as she turned the page, but he still didn't look up.

She got out of her chair and left the room, heading to her own. There she got changed into one of her dance costumes- she decided she really needed his approval on this one. It took a few minutes to get on, and she magiced her hair into shape and added the fabric before throwing a black jacket on over it and heading back to his rooms.

"Severus?" she asked once she was inside. "Since we weren't doing anything else, I decided it would be a good time to show you my costume for dance. I wanted you to know what I'm wearing in advance. To save the trip to St Mungo's." she smirked.

He finally looked up.

She turned her back to him and slowly pulled off the jacket and she heard him drop his book.

She was wearing the undergarments of a Can-Can dancer; That was, after all, what she was meant to be in the dance academy performance. She had a white corset and ruffle drawers on, with black fishnets and black stilettos.

Her hair was in thick waves, white scraps of fabric tied in to look as if she was curling it. It looked a little odd now, but this was the second part of her outfit- for the first part she wore a Can-can dancers dress with the many skirts underneath.

He sat, mouth agape and staring.

"Like it?" she asked happily.

He nodded dumbly. This wasn't right- he was meant to be jumping up and kissing her, not staring at her dumbstruck.

"I wear a proper Can-can outfit for the first dance. But then I strip off." She said, moving over to stand directly in front of him. "Like it?" she whispered in his ear.

He nodded.

"Want to-" she was interrupted by a loud bell going off somewhere above them signalling the next class.

"Ah, bullocks!"

----- 'Don't look before you laugh, look ugly in a photograph' -----

Hermione wasn't in a good mood that night at dinner. Because she had had to get changed back into her clothes, she was ten minutes late to her next class. Then students had been dogging her about who her 'someone' was- apparently Mischa and Juliet had told someone, then that someone had told someone else and that someone else had told the whole school.

There were some scary rumours going on about that. Apparently it was Harry, then it was Seamus, then Remus Lupin, and in one particularly disturbing story, Hagrid. She didn't think about that one too much.

So, once she had gotten through the barrage of questions that was her class, there was lunch. And the accompanying stares and whispers. Then more classes, much the same as the morning, and now finally dinner. Where the professors were harassing her about it as well.

"So, Hermione, I hear you're thinking of tying the knot!" exclaimed Flitwick as she sat down and started to eat her vegetable casserole.

Snape choked on a piece of his steak, but Flitwick didn't seem to notice.

"No, professor, I'm not, actually. The students imaginations seem to have run away with them." She replied through gritted teeth.

"Oh, come now Hermione, there must be someone!" laughed Minerva.

"Yes there is, but that is none of your business. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some marking to do." She said icily, getting up and leaving through the side door from the hall.

"Must be the kidney beans. Always said they were bad for her." Sighed Flitwick.

----- 'Flash bulbs purple irises the camera can't see' -----

"Hard day?" Snape struggled to keep the amused smirk off his face as he entered her rooms.

"All your bloody fault." Glowered Hermione, reading some papers and eating an apple.

"Don't blame me, you practically threw yourself at me the other night." He defended, sitting down opposite her.

"_Threw_ myself at you?" she scoffed. "I seem to remember you played a rather large part in the affairs." She looked at him and took a large bite out of the green apple in her left hand.

He raised an eyebrow. "I think we were both equal participants in that particular process."

She just glared at him and turned back to her papers.

"What are you reading?" he asked.

"A manuscript someone sent to me." She answered.

"Who?" he asked.

"She wants to be known as anonymous, so I can't give that information." Hermione said, straightening the pile of papers and slipping them into a file.

"What type of book?" he asked.

"A diary, of sorts. Based loosely on her life. I can't tell you anymore." Hermione answered, pushing the file into her book bag.

"Ah, the ever present book bag." He said, looking at the worn bag.

She just glared at him.

"Did you have enough for dinner? Or should I get one of the house elves to bring you up something from the kitchens?" he asked after a moment.

"I'm fine." She said, pushing the bag under her chair.

He nodded.

"Well, this is a great conversation." She smiled after a minute or two of silence.

"It seems that there's only one thing we're good at, other than annoying each other." He smirked.

"Not tonight. Dancing." She said. She was still working on trying to get him to kiss her, but had decided for a bit more subtleness, even if her patience was wearing thin.

"Aha. What type is it tonight? The tango? Ballroom dancing? Hip hop?" he asked.

"Mock me if you will, but I will be fit when you're sitting on a couch unable to move for the fat on you." She chided.

"I beg to differ. You will be fit, but so will I. Stalking around the corridors assigning detentions to misbehaving students is an excellent form of exercise, I have found." He said.

"I see." She said, eyebrows raised. "I have a rehearsal tonight, for next weeks performance. I believe I showed you one of the costumes already?" she smirked.

He nodded. "It was… interesting."

She laughed. "If that's the word you wish to use." She said. "It's the tango, the can-can and modern. My hip hop's a different class." She explained.

"I see. Any more costumes you wish to display?" he asked, smirking.

"I think you say the most interesting one." She smiled. "Will you be coming next week? To the performance?" she asked.

"Do you wish me to?" he asked.

"Only if you want to." She said quickly.

"I will go. But I will _not_ sit next to Potter, since I assume he is attending." He declared.

"No, I'll put you next to Ginny, instead." She smirked, getting up to throw her apple core in the bin.

Had he been someone who rolled their eyes, he would have, repeatedly. But he wasn't, so he settled for looking appropriately disdainful as he asked his next question.

"Is there a… theme for the performance?"

"Yes." He raised his eyebrows in question. "You remember that movie Albus showed you… Moulin Rouge?"

"Oh good lord…" he sighed.

"Oh, cheer up. It's three songs, not the whole movie." She said, shaking her head. "The can-can, Le Tango De Roxanne and Diamond Dogs. I'm going to get changed."

She went into her bedroom but didn't close the door.

She slipped out of her work clothes and pulled on her under corset, doing it up by magic. She loved the way she looked and felt in a corset, but the numb nerves and bruises she got from dancing in one weren't so lovely. She pulled on the tights and garters, the ruffle underwear and then the dress with the dozens of layers of skirt underneath.

She was 'Travesty', one of the Moulin Rouge can-can dancer characters, so it was a grey and white tight fitting suit on top, and a grey skirt with bright purple undersides and lower skirts. She did her hair (a tight bun) and carried her other costume, bag, hat and shoes into the lounge where Severus was still sitting.

She sat on one of the couches and started to fasten her high heeled boots, placing a charm to stabilise them and comfort her feet while she wore them.

She threw her other costume into her black dance bag, moving into the bathroom to fix the hat on her head, a small grey top hat perched on an angle.

She finished and did her make up, dark eyes and mouth, before going into the lounge again.

"Do I look like a prostitute?" she asked hopefully.

"You know, I never thought I'd here someone ask me that positively." He mused. "But yes, you look like a very, very, very sexy prostitute. I really shouldn't let you go out like that." He crossed the room and put his hands on her hips.

"And I never thought I'd here professor Snape say I look like a sexy prostitute." She smiled.

"I meant what I said about not letting you go out…" he growled softly, moving in to kiss her. He stopped a split second before their mouths touched. "Oh, I forgot. You didn't want me to kiss you, did you?" he teased, mouth inches from hers.

She smiled, and headed to the door. "I'll cast a glamour over myself. I can only be seen if someone's looking for me, then. Happy?" she asked, opening the door.

He nodded, and she left the room, closing the door behind her.

She cast the spell over herself like she said she would, and headed off to the Entrance Hall.

As she passed the Great Hall she realised she was rather hungry, she'd only had that apple and a tiny bit of dinner. And she'd need her energy for dancing, it was a full rehearsal. And… She had a glamour over her; no one would be searching for her at this time of night, so they wouldn't see her.

She headed into the Great Hall where most of the students were still eating and chatting with their friends about their day. She moved along the wall quickly and quietly to make sure no one spotted her.

She reached the teachers table and Dumbledore's eyes rested on her.

"Ah! Miss Granger! Off to dancing I see? Smashing costume!" he chuckled.

She sighed, as the students turned to look at her, now easily seen because they were searching for her.

There she was in a can-can dancer outfit, hand half reached out to grab a pastry and most of the student body was staring at her.

Great.

"Yes, well, I'd best be off." She said quickly, grabbing the pastry and clacking down out of the hall, heels clanging on the stone floor underneath the skirts that swished annoyingly as the students watched her go.

She made it out of the hall and out the castle, walking to the perimeter of the grounds before apparating to her dance school.

Once there she headed to the receptionist.

"Hi Julie. What room am I in for can-can?" she asked the receptionist.

"Room 34. And the tango is 23, modern 67." Smiled Julie.

"Thanks." She replied, heading to room 34, heels clicking on the marble floor of the hall.

She reached room 34 easily, having visited it many times before. She was also, amazingly, not late. 'Well, I guess I didn't have anything to hold me up…' she grumbled silently as she thought of her no-kissing rule.

"Hermione!" she heard Jude call from the front. Jude was a handsome man, chiselled cheek bones and piercing blue eyes.

"Hi Ju." She said, setting her bag on the benches that lined one side of the dance hall, the only wall not completely covered by mirrors. She slicked across the wooden floorboards to some of the other girls in the dance, talking animatedly with them until Jude called the class to order.

"Okay, girls, guys, we need to get this going. The performance is on next week! We've got it all down pat, we just need to polish it, especially the high kicks. It's looking really messy with kicks all different heights, please, I want it half way between hip height and head height! Keep in line with everyone else and you'll keep it straight." He signalled for them to get in position. "And I want some _attitude_, girls! You are diamond dogs! You rule the Moulin Rouge!" he walked over to turn on the music and it blared, and they started racing around with their dance.

By the end of the dance most of them were too puffed out to even move from their final position, and she herself stayed in the splits she had finished with. She was trying to catch her breath when she saw something that made it catch in her throat; someone was staring in from the window right at her. She did a double take and they were gone, so she put it down to exhaustion, but she couldn't shake the niggly feeling there was someone there.

They went over the dance a few more times, and at the end of the lesson she was glad she'd charmed her shoes. Some of the girls who hadn't took off their boots to reveal red blisters and green bruises around the ankle.

She started to get changed from her can-can outfit to the underwear, ready for her next class in room 23- the tango.

This was her favourite dance, it was so… passionate. She like being able to lose herself in the story. But it was also hard- she played the part of Nini (legs in the air) for this song, which meant she had the lead female part.

She hurried back along the corridor to room 23 and was the last person to arrive, as she the most complex costume.

"Sorry, silly costumes…" she smiled, and they laughed at the movie quote as she moved into position.

The music started, and she was on the other side of the hall to her partner, Michael, and the rest of the dancers were sitting around the stage, though a large area near the front was clear to give her room to dance.

"We have a dance… In the brothels of Buenos Airies… that tells the story…" her partner began to speak in a low and gravely voice. "Of a prostitute," a spotlight fell on her and she moved closer till she was about ten feet away from him. "And a man who falls in love with her…" the tango's strong beat filled the air as they circled each other, coming in close as he continued. "First- there is desire! Then… there is passion!" His hand grazed from her shoulder down to her left thigh. "The- suspicion!" she looked over at one of the men who had come closer, and Michael caught her arm harshly, yelling the next words. "Jealousy! Anger! Betrayal! When love is for the highest bidder, there can be no trust! Without trust, there is no love! Jealousy… Yes, jealousy will drive you… _mad_!" his last word echoed around the room, and suddenly he pushed her back into one of the men, the one she had been looking at before. He danced with her, fondling and grabbing at her before throwing her onto the next man. She carried on around the circle, dancing the story of a prostitute. A handsome young boy came up to the front of the stage on the left, dressed in a tatty shirt, pants and long black jacket.

"His eyes upon your face, his hand upon your hand, his lips caress your skin… It's more than I can stand…" he looked at her sadl grabbing at her before throwing her onto the next man. She carried on around the circle, dancing the story of a prostitute.

"Roxanne… you don't have to put on that red light… walk the streets for money, you don't care if it's wrong or if it is right," Michael sang. "Roxanne… You don't have to wear that dress tonight… Roxanne… You don't have to sell your body to the night…"

A handsome young boy came up to the front of the stage on the left, dressed in a tatty shirt, pants and long black jacket.

"His eyes upon your face, his hand upon your hand, his lips caress your skin… It's more than I can stand…" he looked at her sadly, watching her as she moved away from the men and back to Michael, touching his cheek softly and then snatching it back as Michael growled at her.

As Sean, the young man singing, began his part, the other dances started to dance in couples, doing simular moves as Hermione had with Michael, though now there were thirty pairs.

"Why does my heart cry? Feelings I can't fight… You're free to leave me but- just don't deceive me and please, believe me when I say… I love you."

The dance continued until the last thirty second or so, where by then music had sped up and every one was singing over the top of each other, creating a chaotic noise.

The men had thrown their female partners to the ground and had created a semi-circle around Hermione, throwing her from on to the other as she was passed around the circle, viciously handling her. When she came to Michael in the circle he took out a knife from his pocket and mimed the cutting of her throat, Hermione falling to the ground in the middle of the floor in front of them all.

The music stopped as she hit the ground and she lay there panting for a minute, while the other dances all grinned and applauded each other.

"Hermione, so happy with that!" Miss Emile, their instructor, said having been watching from the front of the room.

Half an hour later she was changing into her next costume, a simpler and smaller version of her can-can out fit, with short shorts and a singlet underneath for her Modern class.

"What have you got now?" asked Michael as he undid his shoes.

"Modern." She said, shimmying out of her corset and pulling on the shorts.

"But- You just came from a class!" he exclaimed, staring at her.

"So?" she asked, pulling the singlet on over her head. It was quite usual to get changed in public in the dance academy, as everyone was either too tired or in too much of a hurry to care about covering up.

"So?" he asked incredulously. "I know you're good, Hermione, really good. But just don't wear yourself out, okay?"

She nodded. "I can handle it. It's rather convenient having them all on the same night, anyway." She pulled the rest of her costume on, including her can-can shoes again.

"Okay. You just be careful, okay? I wouldn't want you in hospital for our performance. Miss Emily could stand in, but… there's only one Hermione." He smiled, grabbing his bag, now changed back into his normal wear of loose fitting jeans and a Hilfiger jumper.

She nodded and pecked him on the cheek before rushing off to room 67.

---- 'Blessings are not just for the ones kneel… luckily' -----

Hermione was exhausted as she came out of room 67 with a painful stitch in her side. She headed outside to apparate, all memories of the figure watching her from outside earlier vanished.

She walked to the gate and focused, so exhausted she was worried she might splinch herself. But finally she felt ready and concentrated and with a '_Crack!_' she was outside the Hogwarts grounds. She staggered a little, suddenly now barely able to move; her feet hurt, the spell having worn out sometime during the tango, her legs were numb from pinched nerves because of dancing in the corset, her arms ached and to top it all off she had a splitting head ache.

Suddenly the snowy ground rushed up at her, and then it all went black.

'I've seen you walk unafraid 

_I've seen you in the clothes you made_

_Can you see the beauty inside of me?_

_What happened to the beauty I had inside of me?'_

Buenos Aries; I KNOW that isn't the right phrase, but I can't for the life of me remember what he says. Sorry folks, but it'll have to do.

WOO! Longest chapping yet.

Was this one better?

I probably got a bit carried away in the dancing, but it's just SO COOL. is obsessed with Moulin Rouge/Ewan McGregor's and Nicole Kidman's voices

Sigh.

Come What May indeed.

Now, Who will find Hermione? Will it be Severus? Or Dumbledore? Or maybe… just _maybe_ someone evil.

Meh, I haven't decided.

Anyway, cheerio.

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	6. All I want Is You

HOW TO DISMANTLE AN ATOMIC BOMB 

**Disclaimer: **Once again, I do not own Harry Potter, U2 or The Bride Stripped Bare. I do however own Johnny Depp, isn't that right, Bob?

Yes.

We like Johnny Depp in tight trousers.

Do we?

We do.

**Summary:** Another Hermy/Snape rom-com. If this was a movie or a published work, it would flop. But I'm fortunate; Fanfiction readers have lower standards.

**Rating:** R for language, self mutilation (minor) and a little bit of NipNipWiggyWiggy. Tee hee hee…

**A/N:** God, WHY do you hate me?

I'm going to a party on Friday, where my ex-boyfriend shall be (in his HORRIFIC CLOTHES. So glad it didn't last longer than 18 hours) and I am red faced. Literally. As in SUNBURNT.

No thanks to Phoebe's party. Curse her…

So, I shall wear my scary psycho skirt and show him what he missed out on. Or what he should be thankful he doesn't have to put up with.

Meh, this is Tony (the wanker who can't come up with an insult better than 'I fucked your mum'). He shall stare at my breasts for approximately 17.25 seconds, then move onto some other poor, defenceless female (haha Porge).

Maybe I should have stayed with him, if only to save those females. Sacrifice my life, my dignity and what's left of my sanity in a service to women (and quite possibly men) everywhere.

Aaaanyway…

'I saw you in the curve of the moon 

_In the shadow cast across my room_

_You heard me in my tune _

_When I just heard confusion'_

Severus Snape woke the next morning in Hermione's rooms and headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast once he had jumped in the shower and cast a refreshing spell over his clothes.

He noticed that all the staff seemed to be missing, say for Flitwick.

"Flitwick," he said, sitting down beside him. "Where are Albus and the others?"

"In the infirmary. Hermione was found this morning collapsed outside the castle, and _apparently_ they don't need the _resident charms professor_ to see if she's been hit with a curse!" he grumbled.

"Miss Granger's been hurt?" asked Snape frantically.

"No, just collapsed. Though she was freezing cold- she looked like she'd spent the night out there." Flitwick returned to his porridge, while Snape thundered out of the Great Hall and up to the infirmary.

He slammed the door open only to see Hermione, very pale and not moving, surrounded by what looked like the entire staff body (excluding Flitwick, of course).

"May I ask _exactly_ what is going on here?" his voice cut above the staff's chattering and Madam Pomfrey's blatant attempts to move them along.

They all turned to look at him.

"Severus!" Albus smiled warmly at him. "It seems Hermione here collapsed when returning from her dance lessons last night- probably exhausted, the poor girl, always worked her self too-"

"Albus!" Snape cut sharply into the headmaster's ramblings.

"It doesn't appear that she has suffered from any curse or poison, merely collapsed from exhaustion. I'm not surprised! Three hectic lessons, then apparating all the way from London to here, I'm amazed she didn't splinch herself…" Snape's whole body relaxed and warm relief flooded him, cutting out the headmasters voice. He had been so worried it had been Death Eaters. If he put her in any danger… He would never forgive himself.

"Severus?" Madam Pomfrey's voice cut through his thoughts. He turned to see that the infirmary was empty say for Madam Pomfrey and Hermione, who still lay cold and still on one of the many white beds.

"Mmm?" he asked, then coughed. "Yes?" he asked.

"Classes start soon. Albus told me that, as both yourself and Miss Granger have the next two periods free, you could take her back to her rooms, or the dungeons to wait until she wakes? There's nothing more I can do, she just needs to rest and be kept warm." Pomfrey instructed.

"If the headmaster asked me to…" he sighed resignedly, slipping back into 'Bastard Snape' mode.

Madam Pomfry nodded. "I don't want you to levitate her back- I know you don't particularly care for Miss Granger and I also know you can have convenient accidents if you want to." She said, eyeing him. She obviously didn't trust him as much as Albus did, especially with Hermione, one of her favourite ex-pupils.

"Are you suggesting I carry her round the school?" he asked incredulously.

"That's exactly what I'm suggesting. Now, come here." Snape raised an eyebrow but followed her to Hermione's bed. She indicated for him to pick her up and he reached out to grab her around the shoulders and waist, but as soon as his hand touched her bare shoulder he recoiled.

"She's freezing!" he gasped.

"Severus, she's been out all night in the snow, dressed like _this,_" Poppy looked disapprovingly at Hermione's short dress and boots. "what can you expect?"

He nodded, and to her surprise, pulled off his cloak and wrapped it around her.

"Severus, she has a warming charm on her." Chided Poppy.

"She's still cold." He insisted, picking her up. "I'm not having one of the smartest witches in Britain die of hypothermia."

Poppy just stood back and watched as he carried her down to her rooms.

"I'll never understand that man." She shook her head and returned to her office.

----- 'I like the sound of my own voice' -----

Once back in her rooms he lay her down in the bed, pulling the blankets over her and recasting the warming charm.

He decided that since he had the next two periods off, he may as well read through some more papers regarding the potion.

He called a House Elf to retrieve them from his dungeons, and set about making Hermione some breakfast for when she awoke.

The elf appeared moments later with the papers and he sat down with a peach to look over them. He had been there about half an hour when he heard noises coming from the bedroom. When he entered Hermione was attempting to sit up, rubbing her eyes blearily.

"What happened?" she asked groggily as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"You collapsed last night, once you'd apparated back to Hogwarts. One of the staff found you, you were freezing, had been there all night. Flitwick told me this morning at breakfast, I found you in the infirmary and Poppy ordered me to return you to your rooms and wait for you to wake up." He explained quickly.

"What?" she screeched. "I was out there _all night_? But, but, I should have frozen! Merlin, how does _that_ work out? And in these!" she looked down at her clothes.

"You were unconscious the night, and when unconscious the body goes into a somewhat hibernated state, especially when cold." He answered. "Are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes, but um… I really need to go to the toilet." She smiled faintly.

He stood up and let her climb out of bed, and she managed to walk to the bathroom by herself, though she did shake a little.

She emerged and he immediately made her get back in bed, much to her annoyance.

"I can get out now, Severus! We should get to work on that potion. Please, come on, let me at least get something to eat." He relented and let her go to the kitchen, but was only a pace behind her to make sure she didn't fall.

'Who would have thought Severus Snape would be so protective…' she thought as she made some coffee and a piece of jam toast. 'No one expects the Spanish Inquisition…'

She sat down and started to eat, taking great bites out of her toast. It was almost lunch and she hadn't eaten since yesterday morning apart from the pastry and apple last night.

Severus reluctantly left to go to the toilet, and Hermione took the chance to look over some more of the manuscript. She pulled it out of her bag which he had returned when he had brought her from the infirmary and started to read. She took the last bite of her toast and was still hungry, so she started to snack on a few of the nuts from the bowl on the table. One of them she didn't chew thoroughly enough and it got stuck in her windpipe. She coughed for a minute before starting to choke, hitting herself in the chest but knowing it was useless for the corset she was wearing. Severus emerged from the bathroom and took one look and ran over.

"Hermione! Hermione!" he yelled, trying to hit her on the back, but it only made her cough harder. He pulled the small knife he kept in his robes out and cut down the ties at the back of her corset, yanking it off and grabbing her around the middle. With a hard push around her diaphragm, the offending nut flew out of her mouth, dropping innocently to the floor as Hermione took great shuddering breaths.

"Hermione, are you okay?" he asked frantically.

She nodded, catching her breath. "Yes," she gasped. "Thank you."

He just stared at her intently to check she was okay. She calmed down and it was then that they both simultaneously realised she was wearing nothing from the waist up and his hands were still around her middle. She blushed and he pulled his hands away, both looking away.

"Sorry…" he mumbled after a moment.

"Don't be." She said, and he looked back at her. "Severus. We've had sex. Very good sex. Repeatedly. I'm not going to shy away from you now." She took his head in both her hands and kissed him. "It'll take a lot more than that to put off me." She grinned.

"Thank god for that." And he kissed her back.

"Sorry about your top." He said, looking at the lacerated garment.

"Nothing a wand can't fix." She smiled, kissing him again.

"Hermione, lunch is in an hour." He mumbled as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer so that he fell out of his grouching position and onto his knees with an ungraceful bump.

"Ample time." She said back, grabbing his hand and placing it on the small of her back.

"Hermione, the potion-"

"Stasis spell. It'll be fine until tonight." She mumbled, trying to unlatch the cloak's hook-and-eye catch without looking.

"Hermione-"

"_What_?" she asked exasperatedly, breaking away.

"I was just going to suggest we move to the bedroom." He smirked.

She grinned back. "Well, I have no objections to the table." She smirked back, and he raised an eyebrow.

"I believe I have uncovered a minx." He mumbled as she captured his lips again.

"Stop bloody talking." She said, moving down his throat. He growled a little as she flicked her tongue across his pulse point.

She picked her wand out of her pocket and waved it in the air, muttering an incantation. Instantly music began to play.

"Mood music." She smirked as he pushed her up against the table.

'You can dress me up in diamonds, you can dress me up in dirt. 

_You can throw me like a line-man, I like it better when it hurts.'_

"Interesting mood music." He stopped his path down her stomach to comment.

"Just wait til the chor-" she stopped talking as he continued his ministrations, making her gasp. He allowed himself a satisfied smirk.

'You make me wanna lala in the kitchen on the floor, I'll be your French maid when I meet you at the door.

_I'm like an alley cat drinking milk and I want more, you make me wanna, you make me wanna scream!'_

----- 'I didn't give anyone else a choice' -----

"Hermione…" he gasped, slumped against her as she lay on the kitchen table panting.

She just nodded in reply.

He gathered his strength and after a minute picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. She just smiled. Always the gentleman.

"I can walk you know." She said.

"I haven't done my job properly then." He smirked, and her eyes widened. Okay, maybe not _always_ the gentleman.

"Care for a retry?" she asked.

"I would love to, but it's only ten minutes until lunch." He sighed, dropping her lightly on the bed and falling on it himself.

"We could always skip lunch." She suggested, rolling onto her side to look at him.

"Believe me, there's nothing I'd rather do." He pulled her closer and kissed her again. "But… Poppy would stress and make Albus send someone up to check on me. And I'd rather Sinistra doesn't walk in on us in a rather compromising position." He smirked.

She sighed and nodded, falling back against the pillows.

"We should get changed." He said after a moment.

"I know." She didn't move.

"We really should get down to lunch."

"I realise that." Again she made no motion to leave.

"And the staff will start talking. Not to mention the students."

"I am acutely aware of that."

He rolled over so that his top half was over hers, kissing her again. "This is so addictive." She sighed.

He just smirked and climbed out of bed, pulling the sheet with him, leaving her bare.

"Hey!" she shouted, running after him, trailing the duvet behind her as she wrapped it around herself.

"Want to save water?" he asked, standing beside the shower.

She shook her head in amusement. "Do you use that on every girl?"

"Yes." He answered.

"And does it work?" she asked.

"Yes" he said smugly.

She closed the gap between them and let the duvet fall, and he opened the sheet, letting her in and closing it around her as he held her close. It was so warm and nice and close and… well, just nice.

He opened his mouth to say something but she rested a finger against his lips to silence him.

He kissed her lightly on her forehead before resting his chin atop her head as she leant against him, her left palm resting lightly against his heart.

After a moment she sighed and pulled away, stepping into the shower. He followed her and it wasn't until several minutes later either of them spoke.

"Bugger." She said.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"You kissed me." She sighed.

He held back a snort. "Was that so bad?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Well, then, I think I'm about done here." He said faking coolness and stepping out of the shower. She stopped him with a hand snaking around his waist to grab _him_. He gasped.

"It was bad." She whispered in his ear. "So, so _bad_."

It was all he could do not to whimper, and even harder not to take her against the shower wall right there and then.

He settled for turning around and kissing her before going into the bedroom to get changed. She followed suit, and ten minutes later they were in the Great hall, Hermione waiting five minutes before entering so it didn't look suspicious.

They settled down to eat lunch, throwing surreptitious looks at each other now and then. Severus almost choked on his mouth full of steak and kidney pie when he heard Hermione start humming.

"Stop." He hissed at her, glaring at his plate as if it had personally insulted him.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Stop humming… _that_ song." He whispered viciously.

"Oh, don't listen to him, Hermione. He just wishes he had your charming voice." Said Dr Clayton, the replacement of Madam Pomfrey in the infirmary (she had retired, age 73) and about 30 or so.

"Charming voice?" she snorted. "I can't sing for nuts. Dance, I can do. Voice? I sound like I'm strangling Crookshanks!" she laughed.

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true." He smiled and put his hand on top of hers. She looked down at it worriedly, but he went back to his dinner a moment later, the hand removed to resume it's positions by his knife, so she mentally shrugged and went back to her own salad.

Severus however turned his glare from his plate to Clayton. His hand had rested too long on Hermione's for his liking.

"So, Hermione, has Severus been looking after you well?" Albus's voice came from the middle of the table.

She hurriedly covered a grin. "Oh, yes, he's been most satisfactory." She glanced back at him and saw him smirk. "Though his skills may need a little… tweaking."

He looked up at her, one eyebrow raised, but said nothing.

"So, he's been behaving himself then?" asked Minerva who was sat beside Dumbledore.

"I wouldn't say that," she smirked, both of them attempting not to laugh. "But, yes, he's been rather good company."

"Please, Miss Granger," he said smugly. "Flattery will get you nowhere."

"I really must stop trying." She said, turning her full attention to him.

"Yes, I would." He said.

"Would you?" she asked.

"Yes. A Snape wouldn't fall for… you." He said, cocking his eyebrow in challenge.

"And a Granger wouldn't fall for the likes of you. Your up yourself nature, your stature in society, your large nose." She spat fiercely, grinning.

"You can hardly talk. Your know it all presence, your obsession with books, your knot of mousy hair. Your relationship with Potter." He said, more careful than her at hiding his amusement.

"Oh, yes, wouldn't want _Severus_ getting jealous, now would we?" she retorted.

"Jealous?" he scoffed. "Why would I want to be around that arrogant slob anymore than necessary? Seven years of teaching that little chit was enough for me!"

"Now, now, Snape. Play nicely." Scolded Minerva.

"Oh, don't." she smirked. "I rather enjoy our encounters."

"Surely you don't _like_ these arguments?" Clayton asked.

"Oh, I rather enjoy his witty comments, his sarcasm, his gallows humour." She said, faking a dreamy expression. "Watch it, I might just be falling in love with you." She fluttered her eyelashes at him.

He raised an eyebrow and returned to his dinner.

"So, what do you think of this Marriage Law, Hermione?" asked Clayton.

"I think it's simply atrocious. The idea of it is bad enough- women being merely breeding stock to ensure the population doesn't dwindle. And another thing- it's only women! It's like the magical world is stuck in the 19th Century still! It's shit!" she fumed, turning to face Clayton.

"Hermione!" Minerva exclaimed, scandalised by her harsh language.

"I'm sorry, Minerva, but it is! At least you're over seventy and don't have to get married." Said Hermione.

"I know, child. It's horrible. But there really is nothing we can do than be prepared." Minerva said sadly.

"Well, if you have no other choice, I'm here, Hermione." Clayton put his hand on her arm and smiled kindly at her. Hermione stared at him.

"Well, actually, I think my friend may be more appropriate. Don't get me wrong, but we hardly know each other!" she said nervously.

Severus was looking at Clayton. "Don't you think Mr Potter would be more suitable, Clayton?" he asked coldly.

"Well, I know how that could mess up their friendship. I don't know Hermione too well, so there would be nothing to mess up." Clayton pointed out.

"Severus doesn't know me too well. Neither does Lupin, or Sirius, or Dung." She challenged.

"Well, Sirius and Remus? I haven't met them yet, but from what I hear, their rather more interested in each other…" he looked mildly disgusted. "Dung- we'll he's about three times your age, is a burglar, and utterly disgusting. And Snape? You don't honestly expect me to take that as an excuse. Face it, Hermione, I'm the best man standing." He looked rather smug with himself.

"You never know," Hermione smirked. "I could be lesbian."

The entire table turned to look at her. "But I'm not. Ginny's my friend, that's all." She assured them.

Minerva relaxed and Dumbledore twinkled, Severus still eating his dinner and feigning ignorance to the conversation.

----- "An intellectual tortoise racing with your bullet train" -----

"You had me worried for a minute at dinner." Severus silky voice flowed through to Hermione as she sat in her rooms on the couch, reading her manuscript.

She looked up and saw him standing in the doorway.

"Did anyone see you coming here?" Hermione asked.

"No." he answered, moving over to the couch. Hermione stood up and stretched, moving over to him. They met half way between the door frame and the couch, Hermione looping her arms around his waist and Severus laying his gently on her shoulders.

"This is nice." She said quietly, looking up at him.

He just kissed her lightly on the lips, running his long fingers through her hair.

She moaned and opened her mouth, and he guided them over to the couch.

"You're not expecting anyone?" she asked as he set upon undoing her shirt.

"No." he said, proceeding to strip her off her top.

"Not even Albus?" she asked, her breath catching as he sucked her way down her chest.

"No." he murmured against her skin, ridding her of her bra.

"No-" she sucked in a deep breath. "One? Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." He said, moving down to unbuckle her pants.

"Not even-"

"Hermione! Do you want this or not?" he said, looking up at her fristratedly.

"Oh! Yes, yes I do. I just don't want anyone walking in on us. I know how that would look." She said, then realized how insulting that could be.

"I see." He said coolly.

"No! No, Severus, I didn't mean that-"

"Well, what did you mean, Hermione?" he asked, standing up. "That I'm not good enough for Saint Potter's best friend? That the greasy bat of the dungeons could never have a chance with the gorgeous Hermione Granger?"

"That's not fair! You _know_ I didn't mean it like that!" she fumed, standing up.

"I know _exactly_ what you mean, Hermione!" he yelled.

"Look, just let me explain!" she said angrily. "Yow owe me that at least!"

"I owe you nothing." He said coldly, and spun around to face the door, closing it quietly behind him.

Hermione didn't think twice about what to do; she headed straight into the bathroom and towards the small silver razor.

'_All because of you_

_all because of you_

_all because of you…_

_I am…'_

Well, I think I did that slowly enough. : )

And now you all love me, don't you, guys?

Hands up who likes me+looks around, sees everyone with their hands as low as they can get them+ oooh…

Anyway, That's chapter 6 for you all. You sad, sad puppies.

Ifyoudon'tbuythecdiwillsetevilmunchkintypeelvythingosontoyou.soHA!


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